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#439074 - 06/24/13 09:29 AM there is nothing my mother can't make about her
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 594
My mother called me today, ostensibly to wish me a happy birthday. But then she asked if I wanted to get together with her, which is something I've made clear I don't. So she got upset and told me I need to go "see somebody and get some help." I haven't talked to her in 2 months. She doesn't know what I am or am not doing, and I've told her its none of her business. She was not pleading with me to take care of myself. The fact that I am ok not having a relationship with her is what is really bothering her. She wants me to "get some help" so I will talk to her again. Classic behavior from her. Just that little call has so freaked me out. I am feeling so out of control and triggered right now. I feel worthless and like a horrible person who will never be ok. Back to being that kid who was convinced that her emotional wellbeing was my responsibility, a responsibility I can never do right. I want to retreat back to extreme porn and numb myself from reality. Its like all the progress from the whole last month has just fallen away.

Fuck her. She knows how to ruin everything.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

Top
#439088 - 06/24/13 12:53 PM Re: there is nothing my mother can't make about her [Re: Jacob S]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 585
Jacob,

First of all happy birthday. I'm sorry your mother has soured a day that should have had you celebrating.

Your situation is something I can relate to all too well. Just a simple phone call, or even a text message or e-mail from her tends to have me brooding and miserable most of the day, so I can understand where you're coming from. In fact phone calls are the worst for me because I have to listen to her voice.

Don't let her guilt you into thinking you owe her your companionship. You've made the decision to move on with your life, and you have the right to do so. You also have the right to protect and defend your boundaries where necessary, and this is what you're doing. It is sometimes hard to forget, but no matter how old you are, at the end of the day, you are the son - your mother is the one you're supposed to turn to for encouragement and emotional needs, and NOT the other way around. She is an adult, and therefore responsible for her own emotional well-being - it is not your responsibility. That's her responsibility, and it is up to her to seek a support network, from friends or family, so that SHE can own up to her role as a parent and be able to take care of you. That is obviously not happening, so justified in every way distancing yourself from her - you have got the right to fight for your own independence, recovery and happiness, there is nothing wrong with that.

I know it is rough getting triggered like this, but know that I'm in your corner.
_________________________
Husky

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#439147 - 06/24/13 11:19 PM Re: there is nothing my mother can't make about her [Re: Jacob S]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 594
thanks. Other than that it was a pretty good day.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

Top


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