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#439101 - 06/24/13 02:47 PM Jokes/Riddles
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Click to reveal..
fsh


What do you call a deer with no eyes?

Click to reveal..
No eyed deer


What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Click to reveal..
Still, no eyed deer


What do you call a deer with glasses on?

Click to reveal..
Bad idea!


What do you call a fish who only cares about himself?

Click to reveal..
Selfish
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#439102 - 06/24/13 02:52 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
A man was locked in a room with only a bed, a calendar, and a piano.
How did he drink?
How did he eat
How did he get out?

A second man was locked in a room with only a mirror and a table. How did he get out?

A third man was locked in an empty room. How did he escape?

First man answer

Click to reveal..
The first man drank from the springs of the bed, ate the dates off the calendar and played the piano until he found the right key, which he used to unlock the door.


Second man answer

Click to reveal..
The second man looked in the mirror to see what he saw. Then he took the saw and cut the table in half. Next, he put the two halves together to make a whole. Finally, he crawled out through the hole.


Third man answer

Click to reveal..
The third man broke out with the measles.
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#439105 - 06/24/13 03:20 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
What always runs but never walks, often murmurs, never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a mouth but never eats?

Click to reveal..
River


What is in seasons, seconds, centuries and minutes but not in decades, years or days?

Click to reveal..
The letter "N"


The person who makes it, sells it. The person who buys it never uses it and the person who uses it doesn't know they are. What is it? (slightly dark one)

Click to reveal..
Coffin


What's black when you get it, red when you use it, and white when you're all through with it?

Click to reveal..
Charcoal


I am always hungry,
I must always be fed,
The finger I touch,
Will soon turn red

What are you?
Click to reveal..
Fire


I have a foot but no legs, what am I?

Click to reveal..
A snail


Iím tall when Iím young and Iím short when Iím old. What am I?
Click to reveal..
A candle


What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Click to reveal..
Short
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#439121 - 06/24/13 07:23 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
Click to reveal..
Nothing


If I have it, I donít share it. If I share it, I donít have it. What is it?
Click to reveal..
A Secret.


What has hands but can not clap?
Click to reveal..
A clock



What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
Click to reveal..
Silence.



You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
Click to reveal..
You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#439138 - 06/24/13 09:23 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5942
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
Brilliant Lewis, thank you!
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#439181 - 06/25/13 12:46 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 196
Awesome grin This is the thread where I think my best EVER joke will be appreciated.

What do you call a woman who works in a crab factory?
Click to reveal..
Shelly


I have no idea why I find that so hilarious. I used to have a load of those "What do you call a..." jokes but that's the only one I really remember. Unfortunately no one else really appreciates its hilarity.

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#439330 - 06/27/13 02:54 AM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
I do appreciate it lol- I can't believe I couldn't guess what the answer was going to be before pressing show me
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#439350 - 06/27/13 11:11 AM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
Rambler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/06
Posts: 134
Loc: Planet Earth
Good stuff...

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#439386 - 06/27/13 05:58 PM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple stream?
Click to reveal..
It makes a splash





What did zero say to eight?
Click to reveal..
Nice belt.


What did number 1 say to 7?
Click to reveal..
Nice hair


Why is number 6 afraid?
Click to reveal..
Because seven eight nine (seven ate nine)
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top
#439437 - 06/28/13 09:04 AM Re: Jokes/Riddles [Re: king tut]
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2466
Loc: UK
What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Click to reveal..
Do-you-think-he-saur-us


What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?
Click to reveal..
Do-you-think-he-saur-us-Rex
_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


Top


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