Its not the end of the world, its the beginning of the world. That's the message from a mormon dad of a gay son. "there is something not right that a boy has to think that suicide is with way out" laments the mother, "this changes nothing in my eyes, you are perfect and I love you and we will figure this out" .
There are so many men on here that are in paralyzed by fear of coming out to their families, there church or even themselves. If you would have said that I could do it 3 years ago, I would have said nope, cannot. I get it, when you fear your church will hate you, your family will hate you, you will lose everything, what else is their to do but turtle. With very few exceptions, the fear I had was mine to bear. I contemplated suicide so many times, I even took that handful of pills as a teenager, as many as I could find in my mothers medicine cabinet.
But the worst case scenario was not what happened. The tragedy would have been I could never have accepted their love because I could never truly let them know me. What a gift they gave me by showing that family and love trump all else. What a gift I gave them by showing that a gay man is just as strong a family man as the next guy and more importantly, finally letting them in.
It ties in nicely with extinction of the exodus movement.
Since 1976, Exodus International has spread that message to thousands upon thousands of young people and adults, telling them that in order to be faithful they have to denounce their sexuality. That homosexuality is a spiritual disease. That if you pray enough, starve yourself enough, endure enough physical and emotional pain, you can be saved.
I wanted to be accepted by God, by my family, by my grandmother who knelt beside me each night to pray. You can rest assured that right now there is a young boy praying silently to God to take away his homosexuality. There is a girl at Bible camp who feels dirty and sinful when she changes in front of her bunkmates. There is a young person being sent away to an organization much like Exodus International. Itís happening because the leaders in our faith communities have given in to fear and hate above love and compassion. The antigay ideas taught at the pulpit then propagate through our communities and are ingrained in fabric of families. But today, there is one less hatefully misguided organization leading the charge against perfectly normal people who just so happen to be gay.
As Exodus International closes its doors, I join a chorus of voices sharing the same message: It is time for our religious and political leaders to embrace and respect our community. Exodus International will soon become only a sad part of our collective history. Thank God. JAIME BAYO is the director of development at SAVE Dade, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting, protecting, and defending the rights of LGBT citizens in Miami-Dade
I am not naÔve enough to think it always goes this way, sadly there are those so indoctrinated that the bigger picture of love is lost. A double tragedy for a survivor who is gay that has even greater chasms to cross. How does someone reject their own child? Especially when he has the voice of an angel.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
His story was/is sad. I can't imagine either of my sons turning 18 and having my me say, "Happy birthday, son. You are 18, now get the fuck out of our house- you are an abomination and an embarrassment to us." They may not have said the exact same words, but it certainly is within context. ...because of whom he will love. I will never understand.
Thanks for sharing this video. He does indeed have the voice of an angel.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.
Loc: Pacific North West
Exodus International and ministries like it had their place in its time. It is easy to look back on it in history and be critical, but it did a lot of good for the majority of those men and women who participated in the weekly meetings and yearly conferences. Like many other movements, as time went on, it became apparent that it arrogantly assumed too much.
I would point to the awakening of psychotherapy as a movement, the establishment of huge mental hospitals of the past as a similar example. It wouldn't be right to say the entire theory of psychology is bunk, but few see it as the answer anymore. Now we are on to drugs.
Exodus was not like some Naze concentration camp for those who were not of that era. It was a group of Christians trying to make sense of sufferings stemming from sexual orientation.
I would also point to two other Christian programs that were and are equally poor - Dignity and Courage. I look forward to the day when these two nearly dead programs are a thing of the past. Till then, they serve a purpose for a few.
It seems to me that false steps are a part of life and that I am grateful for a Christian culture which allows dialogue. If I were living in the Middle East, I would be brutally killed. My murderers would be applauded for their fine service to God.
Loc: PDX- Portland OR
I am sorry, but to say that they "had a place" ??
My family still hates me for being gay because it is a choice to them. Exodus, Dignity, so many other faith based groups who spread a message of hate are responsible for the evil they did.
I told them in 1982, while negotiating therapy for sexual molestation at church. They denied me therapy after I came out. They refused to allow it because my therapist validated my orientation.
In 2005 after hurricane Katrina my older brother told me he would talk to me if I never entered another gay relationship. My twin similarly demanded straight behavior to talk to me. These were the guys who taught me how! They didn't accept me and don't accept me today.
Reparative therapy books and videotapes were the only gifts I would get. That and judgment.
NO, Exodus deserves no honor for what they did, they validated hate. They spread homophobia from the pulpits of America to the masses. They taught the entire world that it is a choice to be gay, that we CHOOSE this "lifestyle". They told my mom it was ok to hate me for who I am. They told my dad that it is ok to hate me because I wasn't like him.
I realize I have some really strong issues about this, abandonment issues, incest issues.....but do you really think that as a suicidal 18 yr old kid who had been having gay sex since I was 6 that teaching my parents it was something I could change if I was WORTHY enough or GOOD enough would help??
Guess what...it didn't.
PS Grant...thanks for the post...it was fucking wonderful...voice of an angel....
I am greatful for religious people who speak out against their dogma or doctrine or even scripture, but the Christian culture on the whole does NOT allow dialogue. No organized religion accepts homosexuality, though there are many religious leaders that do, such as bishop gene robinson, Imam Daayiee Abdullah, irshad Manji, rabbi Sharon klienbaum, etc. You have likely not heard of them, because they are very minor players, with albeit with great intent.
So no religion gets to claim the higher ground when it comes to accepting or even tolerating homosexuality.
With respect to Exodus, it most clearly did more harm than good, though undoubtedly there was some who were helped. Now the new tactic is to say , no we cant change gay so you have to either repress it and act as a straight person or chose to live a celibate life. Bunk. What about the other person in that sham relationship, don't they have a right to be loved by someone who fully loves them back. And why does a gay person have to deny a basic human need for love and touch and sexuality. Talk about unnatural.
Psychotherapy alone is not the answer though can be amazingly helpful, especially newer somatic techniques and you are right without question drugs are never the long term solution.
Finally the sufferings from sexual orientation was not the orientation itself but the church's lack of acceptance of it. In earlier times, or other cultures like native American "two spiritedness" its a non-issue. So Christians trying to make sense of it is sort of like asking a group of vegans to make sense of why the guy keeps asking for meat. Just stop eating meat, doesn't seem to be a great solution. He will still crave a steak, even though the salad keeps him alive.
You are entitled to feel and say as you wish Mac , though I respectfully do not concur.
In modern times, generally in developing countries and developed countries the wave of homosexuality is spreading day by day, due to one or the other reasons. As a result men wants to enjoy sex with men both orally and through anus and in the same way women likes to enjoy sex with women, Which can be the cause of many complicated diseases in future life. We provide treatment to get rid of this homosexually habit.
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The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
That was a very good pic of videos. The one thing I've learned about the very religious of and religion is that the have many ways of intimidating families. No I know that I grew up in a nonreligious house and I thought I got enlightened at the age of 26 when I married my wife after meeting her about 3 times. Today I have 6 kids, 4 of whom are married and have kids. My religion has also had a sex scandal and they deny everything. They protect the perp. I wanted to have a house believing in something for the family. My wife is very truly religious woman. The theme on how to keep these CSA matters covered up is to intimidate the victim not to go to the authorities. They will not stop at intimidation of the victime but the victims family and even extended family. People will find that they cannot get jobs in the community or their kids cannot attend the faiths religious schools. So there are things I will never tell my family like me being gay. Why put them through all the hassle. It's not like I can go say fuck off and leave because my family would still have trouble with gangsters. What I did notice though over the years was that I could never be one of them simply because I left god in bed with the johns. When I prayed that the beatings should stop hurting nobody on high was there for me. I'm sorry I don't offend anyone but fuck him. The only use for religion is to create voting blocks.
There is supposed to be a separation between church and state. So why is government listening to religions in order to pass laws. There is no blind justice, it's tainted. Being able to marry who you want shouldn't be help up by the religious. We're not talking about religious people we're talking about regular people.
In my 7 years of being pimped from the age of 12 I met all kinds. When I sat on the podium waiting to give my "today I'm a man" I was looking around this huge crowd trying to see if I could see anyone that I knew intimately. I really should have asked my friend Lanny to come take a look since this was his pimps territory and I worked the upper east side about 25 blocks north of the UN
Boy, 1lif he's got something to cure everything under the sun. I bought a years worth. He gaurentees I will never look at another man again. the problem is that I don't look at women except my wife. It's going to be very lonely around here . So if I don't speak to any of you guys again then you'll know I've been cured or I died .
Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing Jeff
Peace is Friendship & Being Healthy Peace is like the Fresh Yellow Sun Peace Sounds Like Dogs Howling Peace Tastes Like Candy (By Devin Lee Parsons 4/17/99-6/3/2011 R.I.P.)
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