I hear what you are saying and I identify with it. I have carried guilt around for years like a bag of rocks. I am just now seeing that a lot of those rocks I was carrying were things that were out of my control, and ultimately not mine. So, I have been working to lighten the load on my own back first, I guess. And giving some of it back to others.
I still tend to ignore what to do with my own guilt. It is always there. And I go through the ebbs and flows like you describe. I think you are on the right path with it though. Key to dealing with any of this I have discovered is pushing past fear and writing or talking about it with others. Sometimes that gets things moving. True, that movement may take a while, and it can feel like you are slogging away at it forever with no visible change. But that is how all landslides start, with even a tiny pebble eventually shifting loose. Then, sometimes those landslides can make a huge shift in the big mountains or structures or associations that we formed when we were young.
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."