Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
clutzygurl (22), dun (50), Gene (50), ufp1964 (50), Zoot (68)
Who's Online
3 registered (bluesky, NeverGiveUp23, 1 invisible), 15 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63358 Topics
443035 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#439190 - 06/25/13 02:36 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""



Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:49 PM)

Top
#439194 - 06/25/13 03:33 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1399
Loc: California
Thank you for posting this topic. I've been reading the responses.

I have to say my self esteem seems to be climbing consistently and slowly this past week or so. It started with my realizing that I (all of us) am remarkably similar to the Hans Solo character in Star Wars. He was a loner, aloof, distant, and off putting. Obvious issues! But he is admired as a character because of his somewhat cool and cocky attitude in how he carried himself. The difference between me and Hans Solo is I projected an aura of "I'm a loser" whereas Hans Solo protected himself from exposing himself that way (although he probably felt that way anyway).

He chose to present himself as self assured.

Another thing that happened is that I looked on a picture I took of myself while at the dog park on Saturday and saw what a beautiful smile I had. I had no idea. I couldn't see it before. But there it was - I have a nice smile!

I hope this isn't temporary - but it feels strange. Even in the depths of loneliness and depression, I'm finding something inside of me that seems to respect and value who I am. If this keeps up, I might get to a point where I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me - but only care about how I feel about myself! And how I feel about myself can be controlled somewhat by the decisions I make.

Spent most of my time feeling a low 1-2. Once in a while it would spurt up to 7 or 8.

This recent climb in self esteem started at 1-2 and has been slowly climbing up. I'm probably about a consistent 3-4 now. Hopefully I can transform that into a solid 5-6, and work on getting to 7-8, which is pretty good in my book.


Edited by Magellan (06/25/13 07:53 PM)
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#439224 - 06/25/13 11:35 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: bodyguard8367]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: txb
My self esteem is a 10 for sure. Iím just waiting on my letter appointing me emperor of the earth. Itíll probably arrive any day now.


Well just remember that I'm one of the people who voted for you, so keep that in mind when you're appointing people to be the generals of your army. We shall rain doom on the nonbelievers!!!

Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367

Turn on the recorder, write the crap you say down and it will fucking surprise you. No one can be a glowing smiling success without a little help. Give it to yourself today...shut off the talking heads...kill the itty bitty shitty committee.


Hi Geoff. Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. "Itty bitty shitty committee"... I like that! To be honest, killing them could be next to impossible. They have a long list of things to use against me. Take care. Peace,

Ken

Top
#439266 - 06/26/13 01:42 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
Agate Offline


Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 37
Loc: Minnesota
I project to the world a 10.

I feel like a 1.

Just another lie I tell to keep on going without anyone asking tough questions.
I feel that this lie undercuts any reaching out for help.

"But agate, you seem so happy and confidant, I'm sure you will get over it".
"Why not get to the back of the line while we deal with people with REAL problems"


Grrrrr

Agate

Top
#439268 - 06/26/13 02:06 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1399
Loc: California
Agate -

This is an honest question, because I can see the potential in creating a life worth living (for me at least) ...

How do you project the world a self esteem of 10 and not feel like a fraud in the process? Aren't you afraid of getting 'found out', that you're faking your self esteem?

I'm asking because I had a major insight about how I feel about myself, and how I project myself.
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#439276 - 06/26/13 03:22 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
Agate Offline


Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 37
Loc: Minnesota
That's the lie.

I am a fraud.

I've lied about just about everything, and the shame of being a fraud just keeps it going.

It makes it all the harder to ask for help.

I've only spoken raw honest unspun truth in two places. Here and with my thearpist.

But even with the two examples above I'm still guilty of lying by omission. I'm very guarded as to what I will say, and often will say nothing to avoid a lie here and in my sessions.

Agate

Top
#439288 - 06/26/13 06:04 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 585
_________________________
Husky

Top
#439292 - 06/26/13 06:30 PM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: Agate]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1399
Loc: California
Thanks for answering, Agate. You gave me something to think about, something I'd never quite thought of before.

I've spent my entire life wearing my heart on my sleeve. People know I have low self esteem. My severe hearing loss prevented me from gaining any measurable social skills (being funny, in the fold, participating). Mishearing things prevented me from ever feeling comfortable in social situations (in addition to my CSA issues).

Recent months have me looking at how I present myself to the world.

I noted a few posts up that my self esteem seems to be picking up; mostly because I'm now having many more experiences of being able to hear people around me, participate in conversation, and feel like I was a part of the group rather than isolated from it.

If I could find a way to project confidence and self esteem regardless of how I felt inside, then I think that would really give me a leg to stand on.

Thanks again.

Originally Posted By: Agate
That's the lie.

I am a fraud.

I've lied about just about everything, and the shame of being a fraud just keeps it going.

It makes it all the harder to ask for help.

I've only spoken raw honest unspun truth in two places. Here and with my thearpist.

But even with the two examples above I'm still guilty of lying by omission. I'm very guarded as to what I will say, and often will say nothing to avoid a lie here and in my sessions.

Agate
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

Top
#439336 - 06/27/13 06:01 AM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
atari_kid86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 124
Loc: Michigan
The fluctuation is too great to nail down a number.

Most days, I hover around a 5 or 6. But maybe once a week, a 1 or 2 day will sneak in. When I get into my head too much and stir up the demons of old, I slip into the lower end of the spectrum. But if I can distract myself, I can keep it at a manageable level.

I have a whole lot more self-esteem than I did as a teenager or younger. At that point, 1 or 2 was my everyday.

Top
#441451 - 07/20/13 06:32 AM Re: Your Self-Esteem On A Scale Of 1-10 [Re: BraveFalcon]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3313
Loc: O Kanada
11.

just like my guitar amp smirk.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.