I'm posting this here since this is doubltess something supporters of survivers might be able to give me some input about:
Yesterday, in a conversation about music school etc on the phone with my Mum, actually quite a positive conversation, we were discussing how good music school would end up being. I also pointed out (as I've said before on this site), that while performing, I could devote myself utterly to music and so wouldn't have any worries about relationships. My mum however insisted I could have both and revealed her plan to stick a profile of mine on classic fm's dating site, (for anyone not in the Uk, Classic fm is a classical music radio station).
I told her that after the eharmony fiasco I was done with dating sites, and that I'd just concluded whatever makes people get together in me was broken, but she became quite irritated and insistant, and even accused me of "being silly!"
I really! wish she'd give it a rest, and also just accept my resolution. Eharmony was her idea and that was an unmitigated desaster, frankly I don't see the point in contributing quite a lot of money, and even worse emotional investment to recieve nothing in return again, ---- even though my mum will be the one paying for this.
The problem is, we're both incredibly stubborn, and if I just tell her "no" we'll end up having a major arguement, indeed the hole relationship thing is something of a no go area, and I wish she'd leave it at that.
She's had various suggestions in the past, all of which have gone down like dead balloons, she even once suggested locating a prostitute to "help" with my genophobia though I was able to veto that quite successfully.
Frankly, much as I love my parents I wish they, and my mum in particular would just bloody give this a rest, ---- even when i was doing the performance she kept making remarks about the girls I was performing with, how one or other was very nice, asking if they had boyfriends etc, doubly hard since both the girl i had fallen incredibly in love with and another girl I was at least mildly interested in had very perminant bf's (though my mum unlike both girls did pick up my interest).
When I pointed that not only those two girls, but every other girl in the performance had a very perminant bf out to my mum she simply accused me of "looking in the wrong place" (probably thinking about bloody dating sites again).
I know why she has this obsession, she did after all meet my dad through a local dating agency, but that was 40 years ago, heck my brother keeps his own girlfriend, ---- or at least a girl he told me he was "going out with" completely separate from my parents for this reason, unfortunately due to my recovery this hasn't been possiblle.
Frankly I'm getting a little sick of the sly allusions the comments about "meeting a nice girl" or "well you'll need a house if you get married", ---- recently when we met a lady who used to baby sit me as a child who asked if I was married my mum replied "not yet, still waiting for the right girl"
I wish she'd just accept my resolution, ---- I've had to!