You have nothing to be ashamed of. You survived. You are strong. This was hard for me to read so I apologize if I missed it, but the abusive relationship is entirely over now, right? Then you are even stronger.
Focus on what is different now from then. Look at where you live, what you know about yourself now that you didn't know then, the support systems (like this site) that you have. If a friend came to you with the same situation and asked "am I safe?," what kind of advice would you give them? Maybe there is more that you need to do. But if something doesn't come to mind easily when you let it, you are probably ok. Just focus on the changes you have already made and the time that has passed.
Be proud of yourself.
I come here now, and I see lots of anger.
I don't blame anyone for that. It is perfectly understandable.
But it is not healthy for me.
So I'm going somewhere else.
Goodbye and good healing.