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#438522 - 06/18/13 12:38 AM Re: Me at age 11.. please add yours [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Shyshark Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 617
Loc: Canada
The pic on my profile is of me at 4 ... I think.

My abuse started at age 3.

Other than mandatory school photos ...
this is the only picture I know of taken of me as a small child.
I just found it recently among my Mother's things after she died.

You can't imagine how I cried when I found it.

I live again in a small silver frame on my nightstand.
It's the first thing I see in the morning ...
and often the last thing I look at before going to sleep.

I sleep better now ...

Knowing ...

I'm finally safe.
I've been found.
Experience is a brutal teacher.

#438523 - 06/18/13 01:49 AM Re: Me at age 11 [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Dave PNW Offline

Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 129
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Okay, here goes, for a limited time only. Dave around age 10. For most of my adult years I didn't want any childhood pictures of myself in my home. I felt that bad about myself. The only picture we had was me as a toddler, my wife had to ask my mom for it. Back in February in my family home in Pennsylvania, after both my mom and dad passed away I was there one last night before the estate sale. I found a couple pictures of myself as a boy, saved them and I brought them home. This is one. Dave

#438530 - 06/18/13 03:14 AM Re: Me at age 11 [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Shyshark Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 617
Loc: Canada
I've spent a little time scrolling through the pics that guys have shared here.
I'm struck by one thing.
Despite it all ...
We were handsome boys.

Now I look at myself and all the pain seeps away.
I'm proud of that boy.
He was very brave.
He didn't cry.
He made it ...
He survived.

Now it's the man who cries ...
unashamedly ...
for him
and for myself.
I have every right to mourn ...
just as I have the right to smile ...
when I look at him.

We must be kinder to them now ...
than life was to them then.
They deserve it.

I cherish him ...
like nobody did then.

He's mine again.
Experience is a brutal teacher.

#438538 - 06/18/13 08:22 AM Re: Me at age 11 [Re: StrugglingGuy]
txb Offline

Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 324
For some reason I can't change the picture on my profile. Of course as soon as I post this it'll probably appear and make me look stupid...

I found this picture from when I was 11. I look pretty happy and normal. I'll try and upload it again later, but I'm kind of paranoid about having it here. So maybe it's a sign that it won't upload.

Well there you go. I'm taking this down later. This picture was taken near Christmas time, I'd been ice skating. I remember the jacket I'm wearing. It had lots of inside pockets and I had attached a mini compass to the zip of one of the pockets... sorry, was having a freak out so I took it down already.

Edited by txb (06/18/13 08:53 AM)
Edit Reason: freaking out

#438539 - 06/18/13 08:31 AM Re: Me at age 11 [Re: StrugglingGuy]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 1016
Loc: michigan
I have also made it a point not to have any childhood pictures in my house. I'm not crazy about current ones either I know there are some probably at my dads I just haven't found it in myself to go look at them yet. not sure why but maybe soon
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

#438581 - 06/18/13 05:48 PM ! [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 07:43 PM)

#438600 - 06/18/13 10:04 PM Re: Me at age 11.. please add yours [Re: BraveFalcon]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1224
Loc: The ATL

Ok, why not?

My original avatar. This was taken at my fifth birthday. For some reason, I was angry and was sitting in the middle of the floor stewing while all the other kids played and had fun..... at MY birthday party! LOL! My mom says she doesn't remember what I was angry about but she thought it was funny so she took the picture......

I already explained my current avatar earlier in the thread when I posted this.....

Originally Posted By: BraveFalcon
I'm 7 in my avatar. That was Halloween of 1982. That was either just before or just after my first CSA experience. I'm not 100% sure which as the CSA either occurred in fall of '82 or spring of '83. I know that because we lived in CT at the time and it was cool outside but warm enough for me to be naked in the woods and not be all that cold.

Anyway, look at how fucking cool I thought I was! Is it any wonder I went through a "goth phase" later on in life? Ha ha!

So, here's the full size thing.....

Same night...

#438618 - 06/19/13 02:37 AM Re: Me at age 11.. please add yours [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Shyshark Offline

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 617
Loc: Canada
BF ... you're not a vampire ...
you're a ham!

Experience is a brutal teacher.

#438623 - 06/19/13 04:39 AM Re: Me at age 11.. please add yours [Re: StrugglingGuy]
lapchinj Offline

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1417
Loc: New York
Hey txb,

I also don't have many happy pictures of me but any picture of anyone I see here is not stupid. It shows a picture of a kid who wanted to be just a kid and at some point took a turn for the worse.

Sorry I missed the pic when it did go up. I'm sure there was nothing stupid about it but was just a picture of good kid no matter what was going on at the time. even for the short time it was up it showed a good kid.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Stick around, It will get better....

#438624 - 06/19/13 05:40 AM Re: Me at age 11.. please add yours [Re: StrugglingGuy]
learning2remember Offline

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 326
Loc: Europe
When I went to this thread, I wasn't expecting it to be about photos. I NEVER thought I'd post my own, but I am. I'm 13 in this photo, in my favouriteshirt at the time. Outside of thr frame in this cropped shot is my abuser. Itscares me to compromise my anonymity here, but I don't think I'm very recognisable so it is ok. . I'm going this to show him my anonymity is NOT about anything I did. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm also doing this out of respect for all the great kids with photos here.
"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy

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