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#438075 - 06/13/13 03:00 PM Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
over the past several days, something has been bothering me. it took little time to identify what it was. When I was five and six, I used to always end up at the bottom of the pool when my family went on vacation. seems it never failed i'd be under either on the way to dinner or when we got back. just walk over and step off the deep end.

I never knew why I did that, until just the other day. after my father started molesting me, it was a subconscious act. I was so disgusted with what was going on that apparently I was trying to kill myself.

the connection was a hard pill to swallow. and I still have not completed processing the notion. BUT, and this is the best part, I realized just today that I've been thinking back on all the horrible things and ways I acted out and I actually felt Grief for that little boy. I felt sorry that he had to go through it.

Now, I believe having the grief and sorrow emotions is a major break through for me. for the first time I am beginning to separate me from him. what happened to that little boy has certainly put major shape to the man I am today. but at the same time, i'm moving away from being defined by an unknown factor. i'm finding ways to be defined my a whole new me.

for example, I've had a book idea bouncing around in my head for at least 20 years. I've started it and stopped it so many times I've lost count. a month ago, the book found a voice and i'm madly cranking it out.

I see to be getting over being stuck. that too is a HUGE thing for me. Before my memories surfaced, I ALWAYS got stuck and couldn't ever finish anything. i'm beginning to breathe and enjoy bringing in the air.
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If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#438077 - 06/13/13 03:25 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:18 PM)

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#438440 - 06/17/13 10:06 AM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
UPDATE:

The first draft of the book is done. I'm letting it sit on the back-burner for a few days before re-reading. I have a feeling more will develop for the story. I also have a feeling I need a narrator to tell the story because I have to change voices multiple times and need someone to bring continuity - and perhaps an unseen twist.

I can't begin to tell you how wonderful this feeling is: knowing I'm moving on mentally but then ACTUALLY showing results like this. Thanks for all the support you guys give - either in reading my posts, commenting or just for this site being here.
_________________________
If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#438485 - 06/17/13 06:32 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:18 PM)

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#438502 - 06/17/13 10:03 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
Yeah!!! Just not right

I think it is wonderful. (I am on page 170 of my novel and I too have been trying to write this for 20 years.

Thasnks for the inspiration.

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#438759 - 06/20/13 09:22 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
I found my narrator. i'm pumped. I only have 105 pages but hoping this narrator and twist will add color and quality.

i'll begin in earnest on the first day of summer to add the narrator's perspective and to get the first draft edited. shooting for the next level before the beginning of August this year.

woot woot!!
_________________________
If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#439952 - 07/03/13 06:55 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
Justnotright Offline


Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Mid-Michigan
I've started to see that my narrator is going to need to be carved out of the text a bit better. it (the narrator) is a character my husband suggested - but not with all the twists he suggested.

I might have to find a book with 3 main voices to see how they handled it. that or find a creative writing class at the local community college and get some suggestions from that.

i'm thinking I might just print the narrator's parts in italics. I just have to make sure that all three characters don't sound like the same person (I have a strange way of saying things and I am starting to think all 3 of my characters are talking and sounding just like me.)

I can't begin to tell you how much fun it is to actually see this emerge on the computer screen. the biggest twists are yet to come. just working the new character in so far.
_________________________
If you can't take a joke, you need a nap. Me.

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#439968 - 07/03/13 09:14 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Justnotright- Your excitement is awesome and the energy is contagious. All I can say is "good for you" !

b
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#440133 - 07/05/13 01:37 PM Re: Growing up in the aftermath. - possible triggers [Re: Justnotright]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3420
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Just - awesome!
Just - beautiful!
Just - encouraging and inspiring!
Just RIGHT!

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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