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#438323 - 06/15/13 11:19 PM Remembering who I was
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1362
Loc: California
Remembering who I was before the abuse seems to be becoming a very important thing for me right now.

I've been getting in touch with memories, and more importantly, feelings I used to have before the abuse started. Feelings of connection with my peers, unending trust and companionship with my neighborhood friends. Pre judgment, pre rejection, pre abuse. I loved and I was loved for simply being alive. I was valued simply because I was there.

To cherish those thoughts and memories and FEELINGS seems to be very important to me in these days. I wonder why?

_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

-- I must remind myself that sugar is my enemy. I can't control my sugar consumption and sugar makes me mentally unstable. I'm reminding myself (because I forgot again).

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#438398 - 06/16/13 10:24 PM Re: Remembering who I was [Re: Magellan]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 545
Originally Posted By: Magellan
I loved and I was loved for simply being alive. I was valued simply because I was there.



With the risk of sounding grandiose, I'd say that sentence captures the essence of life. You have intrinsic value, we all do, and I also think that being able to feel also gives life intrinsic meaning as well. To answer your question, maybe they (thoughts, memories and feelings) are seeming important to you again because you're progressing in your recovery and you're starting to integrate pieces of you that were shattered by the abuse to feel whole again. I am glad you are remembering and feeling these positive things again - there are good people out there and with them they can be relived once more.
_________________________
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.

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#438403 - 06/16/13 11:12 PM Re: Remembering who I was [Re: Magellan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 758
Loc: upper south
...pre judgement, pre rejection, pre abuse. I hope these memories flood your heart with goodness. Seriously. And you are valued again here, Magellan. I read the post where you explained your screen name this evening. I thought it way to cool and full of positive symbolism. Life is one big journey of discovery. Cherish the memories as they come of your pre abusive life. It is that precious.

And I am jealous. The only memory I have of pre-abuse is being lead down that pathway to the outbuilding. When you have the chance, maybe you could share what it was like to play and love and be loved without the burdens. Continue to remember!
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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