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#438300 - 06/15/13 06:48 PM Vanity and Comparison
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
One of the benefits of this audience is being able to put out there, front and center, our own BS.

I have this horrible habit with men (and less so with women) of ranking people. Is so and so better than me or worse than me. More of a mess? Less aware? Are they more handsome? More confident? More accomplished? More fake? More depraved?

And my shifting perceptions effect the way I present myself to them. As humble and admiring, or as their fucking (sometimes reluctant) teacher.

YUCK.

In 12 steps we remind ourselves to be "right sized"...not better or worse than others. It's seems to be quite a challenge and how sad and isolating is that?? A world of possible comrades separated by an incorrect worldview.

I noticed that as I give everyone else "permission" to be whatever they are, I also give permission to myself. And that is very freeing. There is a sinner and a saint in everyone. So tired of missing out.

Gold


Edited by GoldStone (06/15/13 09:51 PM)

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#438321 - 06/15/13 11:04 PM Re: Vanity and Comparison [Re: GoldStone]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: GoldStone
I have this horrible habit with men (and less so with women) of ranking people. Is so and so better than me or worse than me. More of a mess? Less aware? Are they more handsome? More confident? More accomplished? More fake? More depraved?

I'm right there with you GS.....a recovering "comparison maker". All of the above, and more (I won't even go into the showers at the gym anymore), but I'm getting better at it. I don't have to be the best, richest, smartest, sexiest, whateverest. I am just another "Bozo on the bus" as they say in AA. And thats enough for me.

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#438335 - 06/16/13 02:07 AM Re: Vanity and Comparison [Re: GoldStone]
GoldStone Offline


Registered: 05/28/13
Posts: 220
Loc: Far East
haha. bozo on the bus...I forgot about that!

Man I miss my meetings. Living in the Far East is so tough because there is NOTHING like a great recovery community and regular meetings.

I started stepping in San Fran, and then NYC, but the BEST meetings by far were in Key West FL.

So many cool people and maybe the lifestyle down there was just less stressful and in your face so people tended to have such an awesome sense of humor about themselves and life in general. And the meetings were packed. Several dozen people 3 times a day. For a small island that's quite a demographic.

Anyhow, from one bozo to another, it feels great to remember not to take myself so fucking seriously all the time.

WORD.


Edited by GoldStone (06/16/13 02:08 AM)

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