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#436947 - 06/05/13 11:48 AM i need some dating advice.
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
I met someone I am truly interested in. He approached me while I was having a beer at the local watering hole, a conversation ensued and lasted until about 1 in the morning as we wondered around downtown, laughing and chatting. It brought a lot of questions to mind. Since my days of actually dating, a lot of time has passed and I have discovered much about myself. Including hitting the CSA and the ASA head on and the effects it has on my personality and behavior and all things in between. I will be seeing him again, because he asked-.several times during those hours of meeting.. which is cool for me. And he didn't ask for sex.

I was just wondering, if these assaults are something I should share or should I keep them private for a while? There is a risk that the person responsible for the asa is known by this guy. They live a few streets from one another. Not that I would name him, but that he is the only guy I have had a relationship with... so it wouldn't be hard to pinpoint. I am tired of being afraid to let someone care, but also tired of carrying all this secrecy.... and... I don't know... I guess I am afraid of rejection if I give in to the feelings that could possibly arise. But what a difference to have someone interested in big ol' me, and its not based on sex.

I need a bit of advice on the dating scene... 55 years old and I need dating advice...lol... makes me feel silly but I can't make the mistakes of the past. I am all ears on this one.

b
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#436950 - 06/05/13 11:59 AM Re: i need some dating advice. [Re: ThisMan]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Hey TM --

Can't give you any specific advice except what I've used as a general guideline in my relationships. Some call it share-check-share. In short, I'll share something potentially sensitive, see what the response is and go from there. If there's no response or an invalidating response that's good information and I stop right there. If the response is positive, I'll share a little more.

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#436956 - 06/05/13 01:39 PM Re: i need some dating advice. [Re: ThisMan]
Ivo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 267
Loc: Germany
Keep it private for the time being.
There is not need to tell anything until something real and deep develop between two of you on longer run.
Try to be relaxed...

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#437041 - 06/06/13 01:42 AM Re: i need some dating advice. [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
....relax. wouldn't that be a grand thing if I didn't worry about every single personal interaction... relax. Thanks, guys. I'll keep it private. And the share-check-share guideline, if necessary, is what I'll use. But since I have a tendency to involuntarily emotionally block any attention of this kind, it prob won't be an issue.
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#437166 - 06/06/13 10:59 PM Re: i need some dating advice. [Re: ThisMan]
Davoice Offline


Registered: 05/10/13
Posts: 19
Loc: Western, New York
for me something simular but I did not wait I exposed myself and got hurt pretty bad. my suggestion is to get to really know who you are about to share the information with befor you do and if they dont respond well to this info then they are not the person for you. it has always been a part of my makeup to act impulsively and let the chips fall where they may unfortunately the feel like anvils when dropped from the Empire State Building i you know what I mean at some point you will have to share this info but I beleave it is too soon. just my thoughts

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#437838 - 06/11/13 05:24 PM Re: i need some dating advice. [Re: ThisMan]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:11 PM)

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