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#437239 - 06/07/13 11:19 AM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 184
Loc: Puget Sound
RustyJ I am sorry for your failed marriage, Iíve seen some ďnuclearĒ divorces in my time but you forget something here; it takes 2 to get married, it is 100% consensual, the exact opposite of what is the issue here! Iíve been together 28 years, ups down, and everything in between, but we both made a choice here, to spend our time together, to enjoy each otherís company forever, didnít you make the same choice?

None of us ever had a choice, in fact some of us battle with the demon that we enjoyed it, yes enjoyed being raped! Fucked up isnít it!

Sorry you made a bad choice, what choice did I have, tell me what, please tell any of us of we made a bad choice!

Chris
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#437240 - 06/07/13 11:22 AM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Magellan]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: Magellan
I stopped doing this 12 years ago when I realized what I was doing
You stopped - that would make you not a preditor in my book......
_________________________
the story
††† https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#437248 - 06/07/13 12:27 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
my solution: stay out of chat.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#437250 - 06/07/13 12:47 PM - [Re: RustyJ]
exhale Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/10
Posts: 101
-


Edited by exhale (06/07/13 01:48 PM)

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#437251 - 06/07/13 12:56 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: victor-victim]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11113
Loc: Denver, CO
Gents,

As I read through this thread, I understood what Magellan posted as evidence of what abuse does to our perception of relationships. I look back in the past on how I handled "friendships," and just hate the outcome. Abuse (and neglect) can leave a person with unfilled emotional needs the size of the Grand Canyon, nevermind the damage to the soul. Trying to form a friendship on these bases typically does not work out well, though admittedly I generalize a bit.

From a moderator perspective, if one feels they are being "hit on," targeted, approached inappropriately in chat, or otherwise awkward and debased, please report this the moderators. The list of moderators can be found here. Approach the moderators and the situation will be discussed as a team to determine the best course of action. Also, there is the Notify function at the bottom of a post. This may be used to notify the team as well. We will do our best to continue working towards safe chat and discussion board experiences.

Please refrain from further personal attacks in this thread. We are not here to "out" anyone, beat up on anyone or otherwise call someone out in public. Further personal attacks can result in action taken by the moderator team.


Edited by FormerTexan (06/07/13 01:10 PM)
_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#437279 - 06/07/13 03:14 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
mattheal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 142
Loc: Ohio
A


Edited by mattheal (09/20/13 09:26 PM)
_________________________
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"

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#437286 - 06/07/13 04:15 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: mattheal]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1563
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: mattheal
In the middle of this sharing, out of nowhere like a slap in the face, the individual told me he reads "my stories" - fantasizes he is the victim, and pleasures himself.
Matt,

Its hard to imagine someone making that statement "out of nowhere" just to get it off his chest. Telling you that the story of your childhood rape turns him on seems off the chart. Whatever his motive, I think if it made you uncomfortable, you certainly have the right to say STOP! and do what you need to to feel safe, without feeling guilty about it.

Jude
_________________________
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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#437288 - 06/07/13 04:31 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1563
Loc: New England
Hey,

When I started this thread, my intention was to break the silence around this issue of inappropriate, and predatory sexual behavior on this site. I had a hunch that this was fairly commonplace, and sadly that seems to be the case. I hope that those who have been acting out in this way will get the message and stop, or leave if they don't want to stop. Everyone of us is responsible for his own behavior, and his own boundaries. None of us deserves to have to relive our childhood sexual abuse experience here, or anywhere else.

I did NOT intend to set myself up as the "go to" person on this issue. Please feel free to share your experience here, but please DO take it to the moderators/administrators for resolution. MS has been an invaluable resource to me in recovery. I want it to be a safe and healing place for all. I know that by working together, we can assure that to be the case.

Jude
_________________________
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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#437289 - 06/07/13 04:37 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
hey jude!



thank you for being brave about this.

you did the right thing by pointing it out and leading the way.

oh, by the way...
this is for you...
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=437193#Post437193
enjoy!
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#437314 - 06/07/13 06:18 PM Re: OUTRAGE**Trigger Warning** [Re: Jude]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 04:03 PM)

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