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#43683 - 12/10/03 04:11 PM Been a hard week :o(
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Hey guys,
Wanted to tell you about my week. As lots of you know my wife went to jail in October for putting a knife to my throght. She got out in November. Anyway....Monday I called the police on my daughter for having sex with a 12yo boy. Well Monday night my wife came over to get some of her stuff. While she was here she came out of the kitchen with two knives in her hand and wanted to know which knife she used that day. Ofcouse the police took it with them the day she was arrested. Well after I told her that she said "Well maybe one of the bigger ones would work better next time" So today I went and filed for and order of protection so she has to stay away from me. \:\( (. I know logicaly it's the right thing to do, but after 17 years of us being together it's hard to just stop wanting to protect her from things. So Im fighting the feelings of not doing this and Im going to follow through and get it. OK well just wanted to share. Thank you all for your support.
James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#43684 - 12/10/03 04:55 PM Re: Been a hard week :o(
theo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 1117
james,
what really struck me in your post was the the reference to 17 yrs of marriage. that only highlighted the tragedy of this. i am so sorry for what you are going through. i wish i had something to say that would help but i don't think any set of words would do the trick. i can truly empathize with your struggle of the behavior of your wife. i don't know the full stry but the length of the marriage and the violence with the emotional betrayal...my former wife almost ripped my soul out by the roots with what she did...i'm sorry, james, i am just speechless. know this though, i am with you on this. take care.

_________________________
journey well,
theo dewolfe

- It is gift, and gift will find its way
- I inherit through my choice. I build through my affirmation. It is through my freedom that I nurture, or fade into autonomy
- I was not given to serve life, but to embrace it

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#43685 - 12/10/03 06:48 PM Re: Been a hard week :o(
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
James,

"Hard week" is very much an understatement I think.

You can give yourself more credit. You are dealing with a lot of really really difficult stuff right now but you are in fact dealing with it even though it is all very painful.

I admire you for what you are doing, your perserverance and strength.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

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#43686 - 12/10/03 07:34 PM Re: Been a hard week :o(
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
James
you are the master of understatement, if that's a hard week I'd hate to see a terrible one.

I don't think you're posting all your troubles here to get sympathy, but to get support. And I certainly support you.

I've often said that survivors have to be somewhat selfish ( not 'nasty' selfish ) if we want to get better. It's about thinking about our well-being in the big picture, any you're doing that in spades.
Good for you.

You're making decisions that affect you as much as other people, your estranged wife and your daughter. Brave and heartbreaking decisions that I find hard to comprehend as a non parent.
But I do admire the fact that your own welfare is an important part of those decisions.

That's just as it should be.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#43687 - 12/10/03 10:34 PM Re: Been a hard week :o(
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Bro,

I'm sorry. I wish I could make it easier for you.

I share your pain and I grieve with you.

Peace and love, my brother,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#43688 - 12/11/03 12:22 AM Re: Been a hard week :o(
MrDon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/01
Posts: 957
Loc: Deltona, FL
Wow James... were behind you!

You've got some very good logical sense about you.

Hang in there!

Don

_________________________
In order to journey to new worlds, we must first be willing to lose site of the shore.

The Mind Body Thoughts Blog
http://mindbodythoughts.blogspot.com/

Check out my relaxing piano music from the heart!
http://www.donshetterly.com

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#43689 - 12/11/03 01:31 AM Re: Been a hard week :o(
learning2remember Offline
Member

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 261
Loc: Europe
I think you are showing tremendous resolve to take action in your situation.

It can't be easy, but you're working to make things better. Wow.

You're doing the right thing in relation to both your wife and your daugher.

_________________________
"This is not my shame, this is their shame." Mona Eltahawy

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#43690 - 12/11/03 02:09 AM Re: Been a hard week :o(
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Hey guys,
Thank you for your support with everything thats been going on in my life. As for my logic...well my t and my best friend and my baby sister helped me see the logic side of it. I mean I could see it but the three of them helped me see it was the right choice and the right time. They pointed out how when she went to jail it was one small knife and now she is holding two large ones. Whats next? So I owe so much to them. Expecily my best friend (squigy) and my baby sister (his wife). They have helped me stay grounded so well through all of this. I have to go in on Thursday at 11:15 and talk to the judge and get the temp order and then sometime within 20 days we both have to go see the judge and she gets to tell her side of things and then the judge gets to see if a permint one is needed or if the temp one was enough to show her I mean to protect myself no matter what. Thanks again guys.
James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#43691 - 12/11/03 08:57 AM Re: Been a hard week :o(
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Quote:
after 17 years of us being together it's hard to just stop wanting to protect her from things.
James,

You know, after 17 years of marriage you did protect her. You protected her from herself even if it was by standing up for your own protection.

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#43692 - 12/11/03 09:05 AM Re: Been a hard week :o(
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
((((((James)))))))

Sometime it seems the hardest thing to do is to do what we must to remain safe. We are so accustomed to being hurt, we grow to feel that is what we are, that we must allow that to happen. It is of course, not true. But is hard to get out of habit to believe of anyone else before us, or to put anyone else in front of us, in their needs and such. I hope that you can remain safe, and continue to make good decisions for the safety of yoursef and others, even when they are difficult. I wish you well, always.

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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