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#436518 - 06/01/13 10:43 PM His parents
bey Offline


Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 206
Loc: canada
I have been married for around a year to my husband Cameron. Cam divorced 3 years ago,leaving his wife who was pregnant with their second child. He dated a few men before we met, but did not come out to his parents until we were getting married. he pretty much took me home one day and was like "suprise! I'm getting married! to a man!"

It did not go over well. So needless to say, his parents hate me. I mean really truly hate me. He wants to have a good relationship with them, which means I get dragged along to family events now and then. It is the strangest, most awkward feeling. His family is not the most liberal bunch, and now their son has brought home a man (!) who is an admitted ex-junkie, out of work, hippy guy, with pretty serious dissociation issues, cPTSD and a bunch of other mental health issues. I don't blame them for not liking me, it was an impossible situation.

Anyways, the point. Today I went to a family barbeque turned indoor dinner party due to rain. Cams dad had a few too many and started talking loudly about political issues, throwing the word fag and jew around (I identify as both, maybe not using those terms!), looking in my general direction. I was getting mad but trying to keep the peace. Then he said something directly to me that I could not handle. It was too much. And I asked him to step outside.

I didn't punch him, though I may have wanted to.

I pretty much told him that I had spent my childhood being beat down, raped and beaten by a father with no respect for me and that I was done with that. That I understand this will take time to get used to, but that I am a good person and I would not accept less than respectful treatment from him or his family.

I have never disclosed abuse like that to anyone before. Not sure if it was a good idea but it came out. I have rarely stood up for myself like that before in real life.

And he apologized and said that it was hard for him. I said I understood. We shook hands. We had a beer together and I helped him BBQ. When he treated me with respect, the rest of the family followed suit.

Is it possible there is hope for the world not being completely full of shit?

They don't love their son.'s husband, im sure they hope its a crazy phase, but I feel like the wall of hate is crumbling.

It's been a really really tough month for me, so it was nice to feel like I actually did something positive for a change.

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#436531 - 06/02/13 12:01 AM Re: His parents [Re: bey]
Confuzzed Offline


Registered: 05/30/13
Posts: 39
Loc: South Carolina, USA
Bravo! Standing up for yourself is very difficult. I've actually never been able to do it. Ever. So I'm proud of you for making a stand when you were being disrespected! That's amazing. And then sharing with him about your abuse was remarkably brave. I think many people when face with the reality of someone being abused suddenly can think a little bit clearer. It's easier to see them as normal humans with an unfortunate and painful past and therefore we become more relatable, I guess. They can stop seeing you as a bad person and start seeing you as just a person. Make sense? idk lol.

Anyway, you did a great thing for yourself. You should be very proud smile
_________________________
Aiden

-Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say-

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#436574 - 06/02/13 01:09 PM Re: His parents [Re: bey]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
bey-
you are so awesome... you said enough is enough and did it in a mature, respectful, private way. No punches, no argument. Just that enough was enough. Good for you- good for your husband and its good for his family. Proud of you, dudes.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#436695 - 06/03/13 04:04 PM Re: His parents [Re: bey]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:56 PM)

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