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#435882 - 05/26/13 03:14 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Woah... Hey. First of all you have to stop listening to Gilbert O'Sullivan. When you get into that, you won't know if you're sad because of your regrets or sad because of Gilbert O'Sullivan (which is arguably normal even for happy people). I'm not telling you to run away from your regrets (see the quote below). But don't pour gasoline over the fire.

Never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.

....Henry David Thoreau
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#435890 - 05/26/13 05:15 PM Re: Regrets [Re: BraveFalcon]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: BraveFalcon
The tough part is, at some point we need to be able to stop beating ourselves up constantly and forgive ourselves for things.

True...I just do it part-time.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#435898 - 05/26/13 06:53 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Chase Eric]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
Hey. First of all you have to stop listening to Gilbert O'Sullivan.
Hey this is how I deal with these feelings....can I listen to this?



........Or this?


........Or this?

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#435921 - 05/26/13 10:53 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Originally Posted By: Jude
Hey this is how I deal with these feelings....can I listen to this?

Hey, sorry - I really meant it as a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor. He makes ME cry - especially that song. The inflective meaning of how the words danced in my head did not translate to written medium. Should have seen that. (((hugs))) again.
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#436022 - 05/27/13 09:30 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
No problem Eric, heres one for you.....
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#436025 - 05/27/13 09:51 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3028
Loc: O Kanada
love that song!

number one whistle tune.
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Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#436029 - 05/27/13 10:53 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Happythoughts Offline


Registered: 05/12/13
Posts: 19
Go blackhawks

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#436031 - 05/27/13 11:08 PM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1283
Thanks, Jude. This is my song. And I share it with YOU. Because despite the kick me's and the dreaming, you're going to be a star.

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#436038 - 05/28/13 12:31 AM Re: Regrets [Re: Jude]
Publius Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 396
Loc: OH
At 27 years of age I can only tell you that I spend more time angry and depressed about the last 23 years than I do excited for the next XX years, at least right now. I don't it is easy for any of us. After all, our "regrets" are so often intertwined with our abuse that one can hardly blame a survivor for having a hard time grieving the loss, remedying the abuse's effects on our lives, and THEN having an opportunity to do all the other things non-survivors do. Frankly, I think survivors start life at a serious disadvantage from non-survivors and even more so for the fact that it is not recognized as such. "You're a survivor? Well, my parents got divorced/I had a single parent/we grew up poor/etc and I did alright for myself why can't you?" While those things are definitely difficult to deal with I feel like one is akin to having your city carpet bombed and the other is like having your city nuked.
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"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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