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#435745 - 05/25/13 09:43 AM my story
StrugglingGuy Offline


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 48
Loc: Canada

About Me

My Father beat me from as early as I can remember for wetting the bed amongst other things. I was molested my an Uncle when I was young and then, when I was 10 or 11, I ended up seducing my friend's Dad over the course of a few months which, ended up in a love affair lasting for years. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was 12 years old. I've been addicted to the Internet and Porn since 1996, I was addicted to role-playing that I was a 12 y/o with men. I've been in counselling the last 4 years and I am doing pretty good. I am addicted to reading stories like what happened to me and still have those urges and I could use some support from other guys like me.

Feel free to message me at any time to chat.

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#435773 - 05/25/13 02:19 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3007
Loc: O Kanada
welcome here.

you can pm me any time.

i have many similar issues.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#435805 - 05/25/13 10:32 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1467
Loc: New England
Welcome DG,

Everything you went through was a tragedy that you have NO responsibility for. Children do not "seduce" adults, nor do they have "love affairs" with adults. Even if the child initiates it and wants it, it is sexual abuse. It is always the adult's responsibility not to cross those boundries. Don't take on the pedophile's guilt.

The addictions you describe are familiar to many of us. And you've taken a great step of courage by working in counseling to overcome them. I hope that coming to MS helps you take another big step forward. Keep up the good work.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#435823 - 05/25/13 11:32 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3007
Loc: O Kanada
jude is absolutey 100% correct.
please read his post many times.
let the truth of his statement sink in.

especially this part...
"Children do not "seduce" adults, nor do they have "love affairs" with adults. Even if the child initiates it and wants it, it is sexual abuse. It is always the adult's responsibility not to cross those boundries. Don't take on the pedophile's guilt."

don't worry if you don't get it right away.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#435842 - 05/26/13 08:06 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
StrugglingGuy Offline


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 48
Loc: Canada
Hey Guys:

Thanks for supporting me and the great advice. As for my friend's Dad.. yeah I know it was wrong that we ended up having sex but really it wasn't his fault either. I was pretty persistent and kept enticing him for almost a year before he finally gave in to my advances. He was the Dad I never had.. so kind.. so gentle. I think he saw the pain in my eyes, he didn't want me to hurt any longer. He knew my Father was abusive and even confronted him on it, to no avail. I'm not making excuses for what happened, believe me he felt tremendous guilt over our affair. He knew it was wrong Anyways.. I hope this clears some things up.


Thanks to everyone for your advice and support. It truly means a lot!

Thanks again!

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#435849 - 05/26/13 09:15 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3599
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey StrugglingGuy,
welcome to Males survivor!
It is encouraging seeing you sharing your story and experience.
Many of us have had some dysfunctional families and such environment set up things for some behavior from which children should be protected.
We were brought to sexuality too early. we were aware about shameful side of it and as we were kids it colored our world and impacted us much more than would grown person. Because of that some scars are long lasting and it is difficult to resolve some internal confusion left. So it could be that we have problems with distinguishing love from sex, being closed to sharing intimacy at all, being hypersexual, trying to repeat some situations that in some way could be connected to abusive past and so on, being very negative toward self and taking all blame and guilt on ourselves ... - the list could be very long.
Good that you are in therapy!

Have you experienced some positive changes trough it?
What do you think where additional improvements would be good to happen?
How come that you started to look for help if it is not too personal question?

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#435868 - 05/26/13 12:33 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
douglaswil Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 35
Loc: Russellville, AR
StrugglingGuy (aren't we all?)

Dude thanks for sharing your story with us..I am sure you have a lot more stuff to say and we are here when you are ready.

I was molested when I was eight by my step dad. According to my therapist I have PTSD from this. That is why I act out with older men because I "Re-live" the trauma. How weird is that? I still don't understand it.

I'm here if you ever need to talk.
_________________________
Doug
www.dugslife.com
I am DOUG, not Egbert!

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#435869 - 05/26/13 12:35 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
douglaswil Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/12
Posts: 35
Loc: Russellville, AR
oh...even if you did advance after him...he still knew better.

Right now look in a mirror. While looking into your eyes say "It was not my fault." Say it until you believe it smile
_________________________
Doug
www.dugslife.com
I am DOUG, not Egbert!

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#435884 - 05/26/13 03:43 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Thank you for being so honest about your abuse. We are all here for you and understand.
_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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#435886 - 05/26/13 04:01 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3007
Loc: O Kanada
if a child or teen was trying hard to seduce me, even if they only tried it once, i would immediately know that there was a history of sexual abuse. i must do everything in my power to help that child WITHOUT HAVING SEX WITH THEM!!!
that is our sacred duty.

that is love.

anything else is exploitation and opportunism.

it was his responsibility and fault that your abuse was compounded by his indulgence.
even if that person thought they were "helping" you, they were deeply mistaken.
you have been confused about what love really is.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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