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#435746 - 05/25/13 09:44 AM my story
StrugglingGuy Offline


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 48
Loc: Canada




About Me

My Father beat me from as early as I can remember for wetting the bed amongst other things. I was molested my an Uncle when I was young and then, when I was 10 or 11, I ended up seducing my friend's Dad over the course of a few months which, ended up in a love affair lasting for years. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was 12 years old. I've been addicted to the Internet and Porn since 1996, I was addicted to role-playing that I was a 12 y/o with men. I've been in counselling the last 4 years and I am doing pretty good. I am addicted to reading stories like what happened to me and still have those urges and I could use some support from other guys like me.

Feel free to message me at any time to chat.

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#435752 - 05/25/13 10:55 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1133
Loc: The ATL

Hello Strugglingguy. Thank you for sharing your story. I hate it that your father was so cruel to you. No child should be beaten for anything but especially not for something that isn't even his fault. Sadly, I imagine your father's beating you led to you wetting the bed even more, which lead to more beatings, etc. Like a vicious cycle. Christ, that's horrible! frown

I'm sorry that your uncle chose to hurt you. Also, please know that what happened between you and your friend's father was not your fault. It was triggering for me to read that part but that's not your fault either. That said, even though you may have initiated the sexual contact with your friend's dad, you were just a little kid who was acting out his abuse and recreating it. Perhaps you were trying to recreate the abuse in a situation where you felt like you were the one in control of it. Could that have been it? You were trying to take back the control that was taken from you by your uncle? Either way, it was still abuse and I'm sorry it happened to you. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#435755 - 05/25/13 11:30 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
StrugglingGuy,

Just know that you are not alone, and that you have many brothers here. Welcome to MS.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#435760 - 05/25/13 12:08 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Happythoughts Offline


Registered: 05/12/13
Posts: 19
Welcome to MS, we are all basically the same but with different stories, I been addicted to masterbating since I was like 12 also and I am 50 now. I started going to T resinly and don't know if that is helping yet, I think we all strive to be normal, I know I do....

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#435764 - 05/25/13 12:27 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 287
Loc: MO
StrugglingGuy, et. al.

Welcome to M S I hope you find it safe here as I have. Your father probably did not beat you for any reason other than he was angry. What ever excuse he used, it was irrelevant. My father physically abused me from the age of 4. My father beat my mother once or twice a week and one of us kids weekly.

You were sexually abused by your uncle, at least you are clear about that.

Your friends dad was the adult. You were the kid. You did not have the power to cause the sexual relationship with this man. Legally, you were raped. You were not of the age of consent and he was more than 5 years older than you.

That he allowed you to hold onto the belief that you seduced him, is part of the abuse that this adult imposed on you to reduce his guilt and shame. I am sorry you did not have the ego strength to understand this, but if you had you probably would not have needed the relationship, so the discussion is just nuts.

I don't know what qualifies me to be like you. I think I am, course I think if you need this site then we are all the same anyway.

Again, welcome, I hope you find the support you are looking for.



Edited by genedebs (05/25/13 12:27 PM)

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#435774 - 05/25/13 02:24 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 736
Loc: Southeast USA
.


Edited by Suwanee (06/11/13 07:33 AM)
Edit Reason: Mendacity/Perfidy
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#435775 - 05/25/13 02:44 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1400
.......


Edited by Chase Eric (05/25/13 11:04 PM)
Edit Reason: Deleted but welcome nonetheless!
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#435779 - 05/25/13 03:57 PM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
StrugglingGuy

Thanks for sharing your story. I am truly sorry for what happened to you. No kid deserves that. You have come to the right place to find guys like you.

I have to agree with the others in saying that your friend's dad abused you pure and simple. It was his job to not allow it. No 10 year old can seduce an 'normal' adult.

I was abused from a young age too and became a very sexualised kid. I was manipulated into a sexual relationship with an older boy when I was 10 and it lasted for years too. Mbing addiction too. It started at 10 for me.

Take you time reading stories here and like Will said remember that behind each one is a hurt little boy.

I wish you well in your journey.

Lee

PS. love the Stig BTW. I actually have a figurine of him staring at me that the kids gave me for Christmas.
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#435841 - 05/26/13 08:02 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
StrugglingGuy Offline


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 48
Loc: Canada
Hey Guys:

Thanks for supporting me and the great advice. As for my friend's Dad.. yeah I know it was wrong that we ended up having sex but really it wasn't his fault either. I was pretty persistent and kept enticing him for almost a year before he finally gave in to my advances. He was the Dad I never had.. so kind.. so gentle. I think he saw the pain in my eyes, he didn't want me to hurt any longer. He knew my Father was abusive and even confronted him on it, to no avail. I'm not making excuses for what happened, believe me he felt tremendous guilt over our affair. He knew it was wrong Anyways.. I hope this clears some things up.

Chase Eric.. thanks for understanding my Roleplaying problem. It's something I'm working on. I was told I should seek a Man who will Roleplay in person. Don't know if I'm ready for that.

Farmer Boy.. Thanks for your insight as well.

Thanks to everyone for your advice and support. It truly means a lot!

Thanks again!

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#435843 - 05/26/13 08:22 AM Re: my story [Re: StrugglingGuy]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Welcome to MS, SG. It's a place of support and healing. You have made a great decision and I am like the others in wishing you well in your journey toward healing.

...."I think he saw the pain in my eyes..."

Yes, I am certain he saw the pain in your eyes. For all the guys who sexually assaulted me, I am certain they saw the pain in my eyes. It doesn't excuse them for what they did. It actually identifies them as sexual predators looking for the weakened prey.

Like you, I felt the same way for the older man who used me through my teen years. I cared very much for him, and the "affair" (abuse) lasted for almost 5 years and was sexual in nature. But it should not have happened, I was a kid of 13-14 when it started and things were pulled from my life that I will never know.

You did not seduce your dad's friend. Your dad's friend discovered your weakness, preyed upon you vulnerability, and enjoyed sex with a little boy for years. That makes him a pedophile. Not a loving caring individual.

Again, I wish you well in healing and sharing and growing. Share often and take everything in stride. Be in no hurry and deal with what you can, when you can. You are embraced with like-minded men in this place.

b
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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