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#435583 - 05/23/13 05:25 PM .
JoeSmith Offline


Registered: 05/03/13
Posts: 129
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#435619 - 05/23/13 09:40 PM Re: Forgiving a Mother for Rape: No [Re: JoeSmith]
BraveFalcon Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1133
Loc: The ATL
Hi Joe. This is an excellent and spot-on post! I 100% agree with everything you said, except for this.....

Originally Posted By: JoeSmith
I donít mean to cry and whine; others have had it worse.


No, I don't necessarily think they have. Please don't say that. The traumatizing, horrifying, soul-shattering, life-altering abuse that was done to you is no less than anything anyone else experienced. It is no less valid and is no less real than anything anyone else experienced. PERIOD!

Also, I'm quite certain no one here is going to try to tell you that you need to "forgive" your mother for what she did. Fuck that! She certainly doesn't deserve your forgiveness! If one day down the road your heart changes on this matter and you decide to offer her your forgiveness, that's fine too, but the inability to ever forgive wouldn't make you any worse of a person. The decision to forgive or not is something that is very personal and very unique to each CSA survivor. If a CSA survivor decides to forgive their abuser, it should be done for their own benefit and not for the abuser's. Again, the abuser does not deserve to be forgiven! Don't ever listen to anyone who tells you that you need to forgive! Listen only to yourself and whatever conclusion you ultimately arrive at regarding forgiveness is the right one. What that conclusion is does not and will not make you any better or worse of a person. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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