Let's see where to start....My wife is feeling so isolated lately that it is really a problem for her. she wants to be there for me, but the more I remember and try to recover the more I am withdrawing into my self. I know I need to start opening up to reach the next level of healing but am just so afraid that I will lose what I have if I do. So I sit there in uncomfortable silence trying to think of what to say and pissed off that it is so hard to think of what to say to my wife of over 20 years.
Yesterday, I had a problem with a guy installing cabinet tops. He has not shown up several time and not the kitchen is a mess and my Dad got in last night for a week visit and the cabinet guy again did not show as promised. When he need come he broke part of the top so it still is not done and I spent most of the afternoon in tears over countertops!!!! Yeah right I know that wasn't what the tears were about but that is what started them. Got into a disagreement with him about the last time he didn't show. He had an auto accident and did not call. Basically he told me I was a horible person for putting my counters above his safety.
Anyway, now dad is here for a week. My kitchen is a mess. My therapist says I should just give up my excuses and talk to my wife and I'm sitting around stressing over all of it. I won't be a chat much because my computer is in the room with Dad and his wife. But I will be checking in here during the day. Life is so fun.
Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
– Rabbi Hillel