I know we have not met yet, but I want you to know I think you are kind of a big deal. In fact, I think you're awesome. Here's why:
1) You are on this site, which means you have at least admitted to yourself what happened. It took me almost 25 years to face up to my childhood sexual abuse. It really does not matter how long it's taken, this is a big step. I applaud you.
2) You are amazingly strong! You made it through a type of hell that most folks will never experience in their entire lives. If you were a child, you made it through a hell that even adults with far greater cognitive and emotional maturity would have trouble dealing with. It does not matter how you did it, you survived.
You my friend, are awesome.
It's okay to find the faith to saunter forward
With no fear of shadows spreading where you stand
And you'll breathe easier just knowing
that the worst is all behind you
And the waves that tossed the raft all night
have set you on dry land
- The Mountain Goats - "Never Quite Free"