hi kilo, you have made a great step in opening the door to male survivor. that may feel terrifying, I know it did for me. but I hope you can bring yourself one step further. I hope that you can bring yourself to take in the help that is available here. whether in the forums, or on chat there are those who will listen. and support you in your pain because we have been there. shame and fear have robbed us of so much man, here you are safe and surrounded by people who get it
welcome Kilo glad you have found us, but so sorry you needed to
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"