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#435197 - 05/19/13 10:26 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
When I was a child sorry missed that in the last thread. So yes iam hurt I felt betrayal! And I couldn't cope with my feeling of me opening up to her I was hurt that she put the blame on me. That I was abused and that was the reason I was dropped for another person. She also went and told my friends that I never told anything to that I told her I was abused!!! Smh
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BertG777

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#435198 - 05/19/13 10:30 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
When I was a child sorry missed that in the last thread. So yes iam hurt I felt betrayal! And I couldn't cope with my feeling of me opening up to her I was hurt that she put the blame on me. That I was abused and that was the reason I was dropped for another person. She also went and told my friends that I never told anything to that I told her I was abused!!! Smh
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BertG777

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#435199 - 05/19/13 10:31 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
When I was a child sorry missed that in the last thread. So yes iam hurt I felt betrayal! And I couldn't cope with my feeling of me opening up to her I was hurt that she put the blame on me. That I was abused and that was the reason I was dropped for another person. She also went and told my friends that I never told anything to that I told her I was abused!!! Smh
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BertG777

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#435200 - 05/19/13 10:32 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Wow sorry about the repeated threads my phone acting up!
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BertG777

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#435201 - 05/19/13 10:35 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
That's a really good response victor! That who thing was that I really felt this girl was gonna be the one I opened up and bam! All of a sudden she labeled me as a bisexual or even might turn gay! It was like WHAT I DO???
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BertG777

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#435203 - 05/19/13 11:21 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
forgive777 Offline


Registered: 05/18/13
Posts: 117
Loc: california
Not to mention I mean no harm! And I got nothing against any sexual orientation.
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BertG777

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#435260 - 05/20/13 02:43 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
forgive777,

welcome smile. I was abused at 6 for 6 years by my dad. i started therapy about a year ago.

it's been difficult, challenging, painful at times. but i can say that I am no longer living inside my head, it's been the best time of my life as i actually deal with the healing process.

the only two things I suggest to you as you start:
1. be honest... at first i thought i was being honest, but i wasn't. 8 months in, i said screw it and journaled my deepest darkest secrets and catastrophe type thoughts. got major encouragement for that from my T. "those are feelings." Best thing I ever did, take the filter off and just be honest.

2. be easy on yourself... be easy on yourself. give yourself permission to feel, to be angry, sad, happy, whatever you are feeling. you deserved SO MUCH better. take what you deserved then and give it to yourself now smile

oh, and don't worry about PC here... we all get it. it's not that you have a thing against gays. it's that you are pissed when people believe something about you that's not true.

for the "girlfriend" that told others your story... WHAT A DOUCHE!!!!

but you can expect the unexpected. truth is no one knows how to respond to something like this. my now wife responded with 2 of the 7 less than ideal responses..."do you think you'll do it too" and "i want you to see someone."

expect the unexpected. i would hold off on telling anyone else for now, until you start really knowing and understanding your story. for what it's worth, i told some people in my life as i grew up. turns out i wasn't truly sharing the story with the concept of healing in mind... i was still looking for someone to protect me. I was also justifying or trying to explain my "head in the clouds" behavior.

now, i know my story, i know what happened and i am sharing it as appropriate to safe and healthy people. i expect nothing in return. (although the first few folks were the start of building my support network... as you start telling again, you'll find that it gets emotionally heavy and draining. telling is the first step to releasing yourself of the shame you've held on to).

this will all make sense in time. so just be easy on yourself. give yourself time. this isn't a race and there is no finish line. our finish line is being able to wake up every day knowing that this is a part of who we are, accepting its effects, and choosing to deal with them head on. it's a daily struggle that gets easier every day. as Fun. sings... "it gets better, it gets better, it gets better, it WILL get better."

i admire your courage to deal with this head on, it takes more than you may realize.

good luck brother!
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May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#435268 - 05/20/13 04:51 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
i hate being labelled. i don't like being called gay. i don't like being called homophobic. to ourselves, we are our thoughts. to others, we are our actions.
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Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#435274 - 05/20/13 05:18 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:20 PM)

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#435277 - 05/20/13 05:37 PM Re: Hi! iam a 29yr old survivor. [Re: forgive777]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
on the cynical side.
when it comes to betrayal of confidentiality of disclosure...
if i want everyone to know about what happened to me, i tell one person my secret in private.

the only people who don't talk about it, are the ones who won't even talk about it with me when i tell them. the topic is too distasteful to discuss.

i feel better talking to other survivors about this stuff.
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Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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