Newest Members
mossTI, E35, 1975, Lucy, StacyR
12337 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Who's Online
3 registered (tbkkfile, 2 invisible), 19 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12337 Members
74 Forums
63420 Topics
443378 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#436351 - 05/30/13 06:58 PM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
Hi JJ. Look, I know that nothing I can say will fix things for you right now or make you feel any differently about your situation or yourself. I don't know you and therefore I don't know what you're like in person but I have to think a lot of the way you fear people will view you is in your head. It sounds like you have a classic case of social anxiety. That's something a lot of survivors struggle with. I think a therapist could help you with this if you're not already seeing one. If you're already seeing one then I'd like to know what they think about your social issues but I don't seem to remember you mentioning a therapist in your previous posts.

When it comes to this woman's family, I say fuck 'em. Who cares what they say to you or what they think? They don't have your best interest in mind. It sounds like they are clearly the enemy in all this. Fuck 'em.

For now, just continue to lean on your wife for support and take comfort in your kids and their love and admiration for you. It will get you through and keep you strong. Good luck. Take care. Peace,

Ken

Top
#442646 - 07/30/13 04:30 PM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
nomorevic Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 40
Loc: North Carolina
Hello JJ.

The events leading up to my situation today are somewhat different.
I was abused by an older cousin starting when she was 13 and I was 9. This older cousin had just been raped by my father. My father molested another 13 year old cousin and I have heard but not confirmed there were more. In addition to this, he was often exposing himself to me, tried to buy me a prostitute when 13, seems to be something about the age 13 with him..anyway there is more. My issue is that I decided not to allow my father unsupervised access with my children which did not sit well with him. I also exposed and confronted him about the abuses with me and my cousins. The result is that I have lost a lot of "friends", basically all of my family on my fathers side, and I am the reason for his "sadness" today. I am the unforgiving son who can't let the past go. In 2010, my father threatened to kill me, has actually threatened me many times with harm, not death but for that one time. I dread seeing him in public or any of my family. I too have thought of moving to another town but it just isn't an option for me. Here is how I feel about it today. If someone is OK with HIS past and finds fault with me for protecting myself and my family, good riddance! It still hurts and I still have to remind myself who is a fault for the situation. I am finding more and more peace and trying to focus on the good things in my life as much as possible though it isn't always easy. I wish you peace and hope your situation improves. Hang in there.
_________________________
NMV

Top
#447258 - 09/15/13 02:43 AM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
jj3677 Offline


Registered: 04/09/13
Posts: 7
Well, she's being sentenced this week coming or the week after,
I so hope the judge doesn't buy into whatever story her lawyer cooks up about being lonely etc etc.

I've had a good but sad development in that my daughter (which is her daughter who I have custody of) decided by herself that she will not be going to stay at her mothers this weekend, her mother has been constantly going on about the court case and is now saying that she has been misbehaving and I am doing all this as a result. Last time she was there she recorded a video on her iPhone of her mum pissed out of her brain having a go at her. I actually felt sick as it reminded me of what I had to put up with for my teenager years and early adult years.

Still this C of a woman cannot and will not accept that she was and is at fault, cannot accept that I was never a fully willing participant in what she called a relationship.

I find myself think about how my father died aged 52 from lung cancer due to smoking, I'm struggling to feel bad about these thoughts I'm having. She's 48, in two years she may be dead. I feel that may be a way for me to heal as counseling certainly isn't helping, nor have any of the AD drugs I've tried that do nothing but chemically castrate me.

I really want to let go of this intense anger and hatred I have towards her and all of her family and friends, perhaps it will always be with me? I just hate them all.. Not just for what happened to me but for the fact that even my daughter was treated as an outsider by her family, her and I were always the dirty little family secret that nobody wanted to discuss.

After 14 years my daughter tells her mum that that side of the family never cared about her and suddenly one the exact same day they ask her for a photo for their frames because they have none of her, bit bloody late if you ask me to suddenly act like they care.

Top
#447614 - 09/19/13 09:45 AM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
jj3677 Offline


Registered: 04/09/13
Posts: 7
Well, she didn't show up for court.
Some bollocks that she didn't know her lawyer had tried to call despite him telling her to expect the call

Top
#448043 - 09/23/13 10:52 PM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

Hi JJ. Sorry to hear about the recent turn of events with all of this. The good news is, it sounds like she's only making things harder on herself and probably earning herself a harsher sentence by attempting to dodge her court date. Fine, let her. To me it sounds as if she's probably imploding and making things worse for herself. I know that you don't want this to drag out any longer than it needs to and I don't blame you but in the end I believe you will get the justice you deserve. Just stay strong and make sure your daughter knows you are there for her. The two of you will get through this together and I would not be surprised if you wind up having a stronger and closer relationship for it. Take care. Hang in there. Peace,

Ken

Top
#449042 - 10/03/13 03:53 AM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
jj3677 Offline


Registered: 04/09/13
Posts: 7
Well, typical of this stupid country, it's the lucky country unless your a victim.

Sob story about an abusive relationship, tons of other lies like saying we were happy despite statements from other to the contrary and the bitch got off with a 2.5 year suspended sentence and placed on the sex offender registry for 15 years.

Well, I'm contacting ACA and Today tonight because the justice system in the country is pathetic, hell if I wanted I could go rape a 15 year old girl and blame it on me being raped when I was younger, I should get 6 months suspended.. but crap, I have a penis so that won't work.

Why do females have so much power and get treated with tender hands for the same bloody crimes! argh!




Edited by jj3677 (10/03/13 03:55 AM)

Top
#449458 - 10/07/13 08:20 PM Re: Justice [Re: jj3677]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

Hi JJ. Well, this is disappointing news but no big surprise. If you were in the States they probably would have been a little tougher on her but not that much tougher. If it had been a guy in the exact same set of circumstances, he would have been put away for a very long time. As unfair as it is, that's just the way things are. It probably will never change. Reminds me of that old Bruce Hornsby song. Oh well. Stay strong and never be ashamed. You did the right thing and fought the good fight. No reason for you to feel defeated. Kudos to you, my friend. Peace,

Ken

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, Publius, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.