As far as smalltown80sguy is concerned it wasn't anyone here on the boards that made him leave. I'm not at liberty to say why he left but it was a hard decision for him to make because everyone who leaves leaves a hole in this this board.
I was triggered by an incident a month or two ago and I erased every entry I had made. I really freaked out and just wanted to crawl back into my hole where it was safe. I regretted it and told my T about what happened. I looked at it that it was a selfish of me to do it. My T told me it was wrong. I saw that after 2 weeks I missed everyone here. I had no one to talk to in my cave, I didn't want to go through another 40 years of silence so I came back. I was ashamed at what I did and my head was hanging low but the first time I posted I was welcomed with open arms. That sure felt good and I'm still thankful for that welcome back.
I feel bad at what I had done, because maybe if just one of my posts helped someone I was wrong to take it away from him.
I don't think that I could ever leave MS again no matter what happens. I need this place, it is the only place I can talk openly with someone that stepped in the same pile of shit I did. I made real friends with some guys here which I never had since I went into the USAF as 18 until I came here in June of '11.
Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.
It will get better....