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#434727 - 05/15/13 10:02 AM Stages of Recovery
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 121
Loc: Pacific Northwest

I came across this article yesterday and it really spoke to me. I have been wanting to know what healing looks like in this whole process. A couple of weeks ago I had a really down stretch where I was on the edge of tears for days. Breaking down over stuff I would have hardly noticed or felt before. Talking with a work associate about our fathers, just barely holding back, voice shaking, trying to stay steady. Another day listening to music at a concert, sitting there with tears running down my cheeks in the dark. Reading some of your stories and posts and trying to hold back the tears. I am not like that. Falling apart one evening, I personal messaged several of you asking, actually pleading, to tell me this will somehow get better. Your messages calmed me. I rode it out. I was okay.

I read this article on the stages of recovery and it really put some of what I have been feeling in perspective. Also helped me visualize what getting better, what healing might look like. Hope it helps someone out there:

http://1in6.org/men/get-information/onli...es-of-recovery/

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#434728 - 05/15/13 10:14 AM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1585
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: dw1972+
......and trying to hold back the tears. I am not like that.


Great article dw. I've used the 1 in 6 site alot. But don't hold back those tears anymore. You WERE like that, but now your starting to heal and all the tears need to come.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#434732 - 05/15/13 10:53 AM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 334
Loc: Iowa, USA
DW
Great article on recovery. So useful for so many of us. Keep writing, your words have so much meaning to others, not just yourself.

DavO

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#434733 - 05/15/13 10:59 AM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
dw,
Listen to these guys. They have helped me so very much. I visited the site, my first visit, and read the article. For what ever reason, it was all I could do to keep it together as I read. Thanks for sharing this. It made a difference for me. And my best to you, guy.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#434735 - 05/15/13 11:05 AM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
Poorsoft Offline


Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
Thank you for sharing this!!

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#434738 - 05/15/13 11:41 AM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:12 PM)

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#434756 - 05/15/13 01:51 PM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
wow. spot on! middle paragraph there in stage 3 described me to the T! (no pun intended).

What stinks is that these stages aren't linear and they're very organic. I know I wanted to blow right through them... I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm healed. But to truly let go and release those tears of everything that happened and MORE IMPORTANTLY, the effects of what happened... well that took more courage than I knew was possible. that's been the most painful, to acknowledge and accept that this is part of me. it sucks.

But, as Fun. sings... "It gets better, it gets better, it gets better, it will get better!"
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#434779 - 05/15/13 08:34 PM Re: Stages of Recovery [Re: Dave PNW]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Thank you for the link dw. I particularly like that it's not the one-size-fits-all "stages of grief".

As for me, seems I've been stuck in tallying up the losses (4) forever.

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