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#434592 - 05/13/13 08:26 PM Gay Relationship Drama
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:10 PM)

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#434593 - 05/13/13 08:43 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443
{{{Geoff}}}

I wish I had words to comfort you - but you are NOT a loser. You helped me.
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#434596 - 05/13/13 09:11 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Geoff... I have to agree with Chase Eric. Your are not a loser. You have helped me many times as well. Hugs, guy.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#434608 - 05/13/13 09:51 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Whassup Geoff? PM me.

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#434612 - 05/13/13 11:27 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 786
Loc: michigan
((((geoff)))))

Dude I hope that you know those are the voices of the past shouting at you man. you are far from worthless many many here will attest to that. it is hard when we know that we have messed up somehow but many times it is not us at all. please breathe long and deep man. you are a good man and deserve good things. keep on hanging on man better times will come
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

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#434622 - 05/14/13 05:15 AM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Geoff,
how about saying couple of nice and comforting things about self? As I've already said in some other topic you've been such big force of positive energy here and thank you for that wink
Many of us are sometimes seeing things in bad light. Being survivor makes it even worse. So please don't beat yourself.
You have all reasons of this world to be angry drama queen for something that happened forty years ago. You've been hurt so much, it is important to acknowledge that long lasting pain.
It can be difficult when our partners were involved into that minefield as they could be tired of it sometimes but it is almost impossible to avoid it.
So here and there you could do something nice for your man, you could surprise him with some nice meal, do housework with some inviting clohtes on or something else that you find as romantic and by so make your day better. You and your hubby deserve it wink

(((Geoff)))
_________________________
My story

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#434642 - 05/14/13 11:25 AM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1584
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
I am such a looser...I hope I can learn to be better.

Boy-o-boy Geoff, can I relate! But cut out the "I'm a loser" crap. I've done that for years and it doesn't get you anywhere.

You are am man with an emotional handicap, through no fault of your own. One you can recover from. It Will Get Better!. This is not the end of the road, its just another bump. Do whatever you have to to get past it.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#434654 - 05/14/13 01:42 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:10 PM)

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#434664 - 05/14/13 02:54 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Man, I'm sorry to hear all this Geoff. At the same time, I get what it took to be blunt on here. Thank you.

Honestly, buddy, I don't have any advice. But perhaps some perspective since you brought up the mileage. You guys have just upended everything by moving to the fucking other side of the country and both have adjustment going on...including social circles, if any.

And, y'know, it's not unlike jettisoning the fucked up family dynamic...which you happen to be doing simultaneously. It's a bunch of new, unknown, untested experiences that - especially at our advanced age - can be unsettling. You've just stepped out of your comfort zone...actually, you've just taken a leap.

(That southern accent probably doesn't help in the NW either) wink

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#434674 - 05/14/13 05:03 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:11 PM)

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#434676 - 05/14/13 05:06 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:11 PM)

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#434677 - 05/14/13 05:24 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3617
Loc: South-East Europe
lol, well copy it and send it to Lancer wink
We love you man


(((Geoff)))
_________________________
My story

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#434684 - 05/14/13 07:51 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Dude, you got married.

You've found someone who loves you and has committed their live to you. You are definitely NOT a loser.

*I* am the loser, at 41 years of age, I've never met anyone who made such a declaration of love for me. Been alone and single pretty much all my life.

Take it from me - you're NOT a loser. All relationships are difficult. I'm quite envious of you.


Edited by Magellan (05/14/13 07:53 PM)
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#434694 - 05/14/13 09:47 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: Magellan]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1443
Quote:
You are definitely NOT a loser... *I* am the loser

Sorry to play referee here but - hey - can we cut the loser talk? NO ONE is a loser here. Some of us may not be winners. YET. But that is not the same thing as being a loser.

Further proof? The Phillies just beat Cleveland tonight. And it seemed everyone has been calling them losers all through the preseason.

Yeah guys. We kick butt here.
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#434718 - 05/15/13 07:34 AM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: Chase Eric]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
Sorry to play referee here...The Phillies just beat Cleveland tonight.

Hey, no playing ball in the house! laugh

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#434783 - 05/15/13 09:27 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: bodyguard8367]
lapchinj Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York

Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
....terrified that my inner bitch will ruin my fucking marriage.....Sorry to be so blunt, but this is it, no bullshit, no trying to act like I have it all together....I am freaking one step from the cliff....oh please let it all work out...please teach me to change and be decent....IDK...don't wanna lose him..

Hey Geoff,

I've been freaking and standing at the very edge of a cliff for a good year now. I wake up in the morning and say "shit I'm still here". She rolls over and asks me how I am and I just grunt. I always get up that way lately. Then she starts into that I love you so much shit and I find myself backing away from that cliff. I got enough pills here to kill an elephant and because she keeps telling me that I just can't make that final step. I can't have sex with her and I hate it when she whispers in my ear that she loves me so much and that she can't live without me. Nobody in my whole life said that to me, nobody. Yeah she's a woman and I always wished she was a man but those were the cards dealt to me years ago. But love is the same for everyone and she is the only reason I'm still here. She is the perfect partner and that's why we've been together for 35 year.

You are lucky to have someone that puts up with the shit. I get the feeling that you both love each other and that is the main reason that people stay together. you don't have to have the fuzzies all the time. you don't have to get along all the time. If you think that your problem is because of the shit that happened as a kid tell him and then tell him your sorry. He is putting up with you because of love and no other reason unless you happen to be a billionaire.

I know you can work it out I also don't have it all together but I'm still here and still here with my wife. Don't assume anything, you have to ask him if he's tired of you, if he was tired of you he would have left already so something is keeping the two of you together. Talk man, talk to him, talk, talk, talk. If all the people in world would be able to talk to each other there would be no more Seria's, no more wars. Arguments in marriage are normal. I've heard that if there were none then you should ne nervous because it shows that you're not talking to each other.

I wish you two all the happiness and magic available in the world in the world smile.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#434857 - 05/16/13 03:40 PM Re: Gay Relationship Drama [Re: lapchinj]
lapchinj Online   content
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1235
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: lapchinj
....I can't have sex with her and I hate it when she whispers in my ear that she loves me so much and that she can't live without me. Nobody in my whole life said that to me, nobody....

I'm sorry but I have to rephrase what I wrote. All those fucken johns that I had to entertain for 7 years so they could get their jollies told me that I was a beautiful kid and that they loved me while they stroked my hair and sucked on my earlobe just to get their hands in my pants. They loved me more than anyone else that they had ever met. Yeah plenty of guys handed me that crock of shit just to get into my pants, but I mean when someone really tells you that he/she loves you, you know right away if it's the truth or just a crock of shit.

The johns went on to other kids and handed them the same croc of shit. Those fucks leave but someone who really loves you stays by you through the worst of times. That's a true friend and someone who really loves you. If he really wanted a divorce then he would have had the papers already.

Peace, Rainbows, Love & Healing
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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