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#434534 - 05/12/13 11:31 PM Memories or lack thereof
JWebster Offline

Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
I was wondering how common it is among victims of CSA to have little to no memories but truly feel as though something happened.

I'm struggling with the very real feeling lately that something happened but I'm struggling perhaps even more with not being able to know for sure.

#434535 - 05/12/13 11:41 PM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
pufferfish Offline

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

At first I had a heavy amnesia about CSA events in my childhood. Then I remembered the different events one after the other. It took several years to remember it all.

I still had feelings that other stuff might have happened that I couldn't remember. I think some of those were fantasies. If they didn't get remembered with a weight of the emotion of abuse then they were a fantasy. If the memories came up with details and emotions then they were memories of real events.


Edited by pufferfish (05/12/13 11:56 PM)

#434536 - 05/13/13 12:04 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
<<<<<<<<<<--------------- lack thereof right here

#434537 - 05/13/13 12:05 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
JWebster Offline

Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
Thank you for the reply.

I really get what you mean about the fantasy thing.

I'm trying to be very careful, there are a number of indicators that something could have happened but I'm very careful about the subject with myself.

For the first time in my life I have the feeling to go along with them.

It's very scary, I'm in the infancy of my therapy 'if' something happened.

I'm overly emotional and just feel like crying from time to time, which has never happened.

I just keep clinging to the thought that if I can't remember it then it didn't happen. Even though in my heart I know better than that statement.

It's like the last line of defense before I can 100% commit to coming to an unfortunate and unwanted realization.

Edited by JWebster (05/13/13 12:08 AM)
Edit Reason: added a sentence

#434539 - 05/13/13 01:11 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1050
Hello, J Web.

Welcome to MS.

Please notice my screen name and review as many of my back posts as you would like to understand that you are not alone in this regard.

Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

#434547 - 05/13/13 05:19 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
I made a similiar post about this, you're not alone. A very large portion of CSA victims don't always remember, it's quite common.

#434609 - 05/13/13 10:48 PM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
JWebster Offline

Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
Thank you all, I'll do some reading tonight.

#434634 - 05/14/13 10:08 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
MarkK Offline

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2567
Loc: Denver, CO
almost no memories. At one point I had no memories before I turned 14. I am still learning why that was....


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