Newest Members
journey4two, VASurvivor, jayceemac, rwolf, FindingNemo
12328 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Alicia (55), bubblytam (56), crazydragon (39), JGag78 (36), kris82 (32), Shin (28)
Who's Online
6 registered (pufferfish, Scott1962, YYZGIRL, Going forward, 2 invisible), 18 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12328 Members
74 Forums
63396 Topics
443253 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#434328 - 05/11/13 03:24 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1963
Loc: durham, north england
Wow victor those dreams sound particularly awful, though I can relate since I've had my share, albeit most of mine are incoherent sets of images rather than absolute stories, still I've had experiences of intense fear where I've woken up trying to scream often tied to experiences of s/x.

However in this topic those aren't the dreams I want to think about.

When I was about twelve I had a dream that I've tried to revisit on occasions which involved flying, and I've sometimes managed it, but not quite.

It involved me having the ability to fly, ---- but more like swimming. I'd need to actually push against the air with my legs, hold out my arms etc. It never felt particularly quick either, although in reference to how fast things moved around me it liekly was.

the odd thing however is that I'd not just be flying in reality, but I'd discover things and places to find in the sky, not all of them pleasant.

The dream finished when i flew up into the night sky above a city, to find a huge slab of concrete like a carpark surrounded by lights. I knew there was someone dangerous, ---- usually a witch, though I never actually saw her, just a cloaked figure moving against the light.

Somehow however, i was able to trick her into falling off the side of the concrete slab, even as she was supposed to be finding a way to kill me.

This was something I got huge amounts of praise for, including a friend who'd be with me as I flew off to several other places.

I've occasionally had flashes of that dream sinse, I've even met the witch again, same sense of flying, indeed sometimes I combine that dream and ability to fly and travel to far off, fantastic places with the idea that someone has fallen depely in love with me, and am absolutely sure it's happened, then wake up and start crying because I realize all that isn't true, sometimes I want to stay in that dream forever laugh.

I've not had it for several years though, I wonder if that's my resolution?

Dreams are strange.

Btw, on an unrelated note, most people know that dogs dream, but I was really worried the other day because I think my dog had a nightmare. i've heard dogs bark in their sleep before, but reever actually sounded really upset. I woke her up quite gently and she seemed releaved.

Top
#434333 - 05/11/13 04:02 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1510
Loc: New England
Sigmund Freud, in his book "The Interpretation of Dreams" theorized that flying dreams represent sexual release. But then Freud believed that most things in dreams are sexual symbols. Anything longer than wide is a penis. Anything with a cavity of some sort is a vagina. Just what was up with that guy? Psychology Today: Interpreting Dreams
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

Top
#434334 - 05/11/13 04:04 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3327
Loc: O Kanada
my dream flying was as natural as breathing. i don't recall it taking any effort. it was always there, until my dreaming stopped. i controlled it through thought. my arms were outstretched like a kid playing airplane, and i could go up or down by controlling the airflow with my hands. like the ailerons on the wings of an airplane.

the funny thing is... i cannot recall seeing anything while i was up there... it was kind of cloudy, foggy, misty all the time.

if i used the jumping technique, i could see the ground below me shrink as i went up. at the top of my jump arc, i could see a full 360 degree view of the land surface far below me. it did not have a horizon but went on forever in all directions, like a gigantic flat earth plane. then the surface would rush toward me as i descended. again using my arms to glide and control the fall like sails catching the wind. i could never get to where i wanted to go, even though i could see it from way up there. i would always fall short of the mark, and this would require relaunching. the destination always seemed to be just right up ahead, but i never reached it. i don't even know why i had to get there.

like i said... this jump flying, or the scrambling crawling on all fours, were the only transportation methods i remember.

when i later learned how to carry/create weapons of my own in my dreams, i began to kill anyone or anything i encountered. it was kill on sight, before it had a chance to even speak. as soon as it appeared, i would whip out whatever weapon i happened to have at the moment, always a sword or a shotgun, and kill it immediately. it was soon after i mastered this defense technique, that the nightmares ended, and the dreaming stopped.

i am sure i still dream, but i wake up with no memory of having dreamed anything at all, neither good nor bad. just blank.

of course, i started smoking pot before going to bed, and i would stay up for hours into the night, reading until i passed out. i learned to get by on about 4 or 5 hours sleep per night, or often less. i was never able to just relax and lay there until sleep came. too many thoughts.

thank god all that has changed.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#434345 - 05/11/13 05:19 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: victor-victim]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
i remember falling a lot in my dreams.
i started to use my arms as wings, and sort of developed a controlled form of falling, which was more like gliding than anything. i still remember the sensation of the air flowing under my hands, like when you have your arm hanging out the side of a moving vehicle.


I fall a lot too, and have had flying dreams start or end with me falling. Had the same thing of falling but suddenly pulling out of a nose dive and pointing my arms certain ways to control how I flew.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

unfortunately, none of my dreams were pleasant. every single dream, that i recall, involved being chased or murdered. i would spend the entire dream avoiding whatever was after me.
i never knew what it was until it caught me, but i always knew that something extremely dangerous was out to get me.


I get cornered by people who are chasing me and shot to death, and I feel it in my pelvis and lower abdomen. When I first started having the recurring molestation dream, the feeling was exactly the same of feeling everything squeezing tightly down there, and afraid to move. It felt the same way getting shot in my dreams did. But getting murdered in my dreams also feels sickly pleasurable- it gives me sort of a "rush".

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

sometimes i would wake up, know i was awake, and yet be completely paralyzed. unable to move a single muscle.
unable to even speak.


Do you experience sleep paralysis much? Where you slip in and out of consciousness, but you can't move your body, and you're afraid of being pulled back into the nightmare you just woke up from? I do a lot. Sometimes during these paralysis experiences I'll be awake enough to see my room, but as I fight falling back asleep, I panic and try to scream for help. I can hear my voice come out very faint. And then I'l see other people- shadow people, or real looking people- and I just know they're coming for me, and there's no way for me to get away. Sometimes I slip into a weird state of being half-awake/half-dreaming and some of the features of my room change slightly. Windows will have curtains when they did not, or vice versa, no curtains where there actually are some. It will be daylight out, or I'll sense that the rest of my house has a different layout and is out in the countryside or some different setting than where it really is. I will hear people just outside my room, or in my room, just outside my field of vision talking, but I can't make out what they're saying. At all times I have this dread that someone is coming for me.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

sometimes i would jump straight out of bed and run around the house in a panic, checking locks and looking for the murderer. not quite convinced i was safe yet.


Same thing, but mostly for me I will have been dreaming about there being spiders in my room, and I get out of bed and search for 15 minutes for the spider, even turning the light on, but still not having it sink in that there is no spider and it was just a dream. I end up unable to convince myself, though, and I have to sleep with the lights all left on.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

believe it or not,
i learned to love the intensity of this experience. i became addicted to the experience of actually dying and waking up to safety. i thought i was lucky, and that other people didn't know what they were missing.
i considered it my own private total immersion theater.

i actually missed the nightmares when they stopped.
i still don't know why they stopped. they just stopped one day many years ago, and never returned.


I felt this way about the sexual abuse nightmares. They were very scary/disturbing/icky, but I would be fully erect and feel extremely aroused by them- like everything within my pelvis was experiencing such tightness and sexual arousal it was painful. In the dream the man is standing in front of me and I feel several things all at once: 1. Wetness, like he's orally stimulating me, 2. like he was grabbing everything so tightly I was afraid to move or make a sound, lest he crush it (my genitals, I guess), and 3. anal penetration like in my prostate, like the root of my penis was being stimulated from inside and the pressure/pleasure/ickiness was building to the point I couldn't stand it. These dreams stopped about a year ago, though I may have had them since then and just not remembered upon awaking.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

i could not even run. it always felt like i was running in knee-deep water. or else it felt like my legs were rubber, and not under my control. i would fall to the ground and crawl faster than i was able to run.


Like running through water, exactly. I wonder how much of all of this is CSA related.


Edited by Life's A Dream (05/11/13 05:21 AM)

Top
#434346 - 05/11/13 05:24 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3327
Loc: O Kanada
the rubber leg thing was more frustrating and terrifying than the actual murder.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#434347 - 05/11/13 05:29 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Has anybody else tried flying straight up into the sky as high as you could possibly go? One time, in a flying dream, I was feeling particularly insane/adventurous, and I did just that flying straight up as fast as I can. Normally I wouldn't do this, because when I'd get too high I'd panic at the thought of falling and just thinking of falling, all of a sudden I would lose the ability to fly and drop like a rock. But this one time I shot up like a rocket toward the sky. It took forever to get to the top, but what I discovered was rather disturbing: the entire sky was just a cieling made to look like it had stars and clouds in it. So, I bumped into the cieling, just like Truman did on The Truman Show, at the end.

Top
#434354 - 05/11/13 08:29 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: Life's A Dream]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL
I sometimes have dreams about flying but in these dreams I rarely have any control over the flying. It's usually more like I'm floating around. Normally this flying/floating around happens outside and not inside the house. A lot of the time I'm flying/floating over the city and I think that if I could just grab on to one of the tall buildings I could maybe pull myself into a window and get inside where it's safe but I can't.

Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
Do you experience sleep paralysis much? Where you slip in and out of consciousness, but you can't move your body, and you're afraid of being pulled back into the nightmare you just woke up from? I do a lot.


I've only experienced sleep paralysis two or three times in my life that I can remember. It felt like I was basically awake and aware of my surroundings but I could not move at all, as if even my little finger weighed 1000 lbs and the rest of my body weighed tons. Also, I sensed a presence. There was something standing over me or sitting on my bed. Something dark, possibly even demonic seemed to be there and was looking at me, but I could not crane my head around to face it. Fortunately none of these sleep paralysis experiences seemed to last more then 10-20 seconds. Hopefully I'll never experience anything like that again.


Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
Same thing, but mostly for me I will have been dreaming about there being spiders in my room, and I get out of bed and search for 15 minutes for the spider, even turning the light on, but still not having it sink in that there is no spider and it was just a dream.


Wow, yeah, this happens to me a good bit. (By the way, I FUCKING HATE SPIDERS!!!) Sometimes I'll dream that there are spiders all over my room. I don't have that dream now as much as I did when I was a kid but I still have it from time to time. Sometimes it's not spiders, but scorpions. Like you, I often have to get up and look around for a while to convince myself that there is not actually a spider or scorpion in or on my bed.

On a side note, when I was bout 19 I actually did wake up and find a scorpion crawling around on my bed once. It scared the shit out of me! The scorpions we have around here aren't deadly or anything but you still don't want to get stung by them. Also, a few weeks ago, I woke up and noticed that my cat was batting and something on the bed. I turned on the light, and it was a fucking wasp!!! It must have been in my room with me all night! How I did not get stung in either event is anyone's guess. Peace,

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (05/11/13 08:32 AM)

Top
#434358 - 05/11/13 11:01 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: pbert53]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1039
Victor,

Your nightmares seem similar to the ones I experience: being terrified about something trying to kill me and being unable to escape.

Flying in dreams is a form of lucid dreaming, or being consciously in control of your dream experience. I don't do this, but it is awesome if you can.

Victor, it sounds like you conquered your nightmares by being lucid in them and generating weapons to protect yourself. That's real dream progress.

I just posted about a dream I had last night in a separate thread.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

Top
#434818 - 05/16/13 03:11 AM Re: Does anyone fly in their dreams [Re: BraveFalcon]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
Sorry to hear you can't control the flying. I get flying dreams at least once a week, and IT IS BOSS!!! I have gotten better and better at it the more I do it. It's almost like my subconscious mind looks at all the problems I'm faced with and says "Ah, fuck this shit!" and I re-learn for the thousandth time how to fly away from everyone.

Not sure what age I really started doing this, but I will say this. Before I started learning to fly in my dreams, I would have to evade people who were chasing me on foot and they'd often catch up and blow me away with fully automatic weapons or worse. And I would fall a lot.

You are lucky you don't get sleep paralysis though. I've probably had a few hundred experiences, often with an evil presence in the room (like you described- demonic). Weird thing is, one time I fought my way out of the paralysis, but while still groggy an invisible person grabbed me by the throat and started choking me. BUT that could be a body memory.

While paralyzed I'm always being sucked back in (?), into something, I don't know what, like a nightmare. Sometimes I decide not to fight it, and I have the most bizarre, unexplainable shit happen when I do that. I let myself be pulled in, then I'm awake, but enveloped in blackness, feel like I'm spinning faster and faster, start to hear a loud metallic crackling noise (or really beautiful music- not like any I've heard while awake) and then suddenly I'm outside of my body floating around the room. That's rare, but as much as I hate sleep paralysis, I wish I could have more of these experiences.

Then I take my flying ability out of the dream world and into the real world.

Oh, also, I would freak if I woke up with a scorpion on me. Yeah, that would probably add to my repertoire of things I wake up searching my room for after dreaming about. And the wasp? Good lord. I wonder how common insect-phobias are to CSA survivors? I wonder if they're more common (the ones you wake up spooked by) to those of us abused in our own beds (insect crawling on you = same feeling as hands molesting/touching you?).


Edited by Life's A Dream (05/16/13 03:15 AM)

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.