Glad to see this thread rebooted. Thank you Buffalo.
My approach has been entirely selfish. It was more a matter of when I was ready, not when anyone else was ready.
First time was a letter to my adopted, abusive Mommybitch and her enabler third husband who'd both created the situation priming me for the high school guidance counselor perp who I named. I simply didn't care about their reaction. My thot was to put the responsibility for their actions right back in their laps where it belonged. I'd carried it long enuf.
Interestingly, it drove her further into self-imposed isolation and resentment for which, let me make it clear, I am NOT responsible. Her karma is her own business. As I've often said, I've certainly had a satisfying sense of schadenfreude to let her deal with it in her own dysfunctional way...apparently badmouthing me to anyone who'd still listen.
Later, it was a cordial, two-hour call and nine-page note to my stepsister, correctly assuming it was likely Mommybitch had just swept it under the carpet. My goal was simply to break the silence and I didn't care if she ever responded further. She didn't. I'm okay with that. We filled in many of the blanks for each other.
I've done similarly with cousins, again, just to break the silence. Mixed reactions, as I'd expected. But it brought me closer to one cousin in recovery who for all purposes today is a brother I never had (but he was also Dad's favorite nephew...and Dad was the only sane one in the bunch because of his own recovery).