Loc: somewhere in Africa
i broke down in the shower today and started sobbing.
this is the last day i'll be at this school - with these kids at the job i used to love. it was like a death - hitting me for the first time. i have known for a week or so that i had to do this for my physical, mental and emotional health. but the reality of it just hit me today. i am grieving. this was not the way i wanted to end.
yesterday was the AP English exam that i had been teaching toward. tonight is the big drama production i am directing(another show tomorrow, but no school.) at the same time as the performances is the combined art classes' (that i teach - 3 levels) art show. in 2 weeks they have final exams. then graduation and goodbyes.
it all got to be too much for me - i was in full-on panic mode everytime i came to school. i stuck it out until after those 3 big personal goals i listed above. but i can't do it anymore. i gave them a week to find subs. i am giving minimal info to the subs - i can't do any more than that. they will use my exams and i'll complete the report cards.
for those who were following the "case" - my wife was exonerated of any form of abuse. but we are both devastated. the whole atmosphere has been poisoned here - and the admin is not to be trusted. there has been a pretty big ourcry by parents and other staff members against the existing policies and procedures. it will most likely be changed. but we are collaterral damage.
i gotta keep on keepin on until after the cast party tomorrow night... lee
"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself... And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity." - Paulo Coelho
Hi Lee. I'm so sorry this happened man. I know this job and your work at that school was important to you and I can feel the pain in your post. It is palpable. All I can say is stay strong and hold on to the good memories of that place. They can never take those away from you. No one can. I wish you luck in moving forward and hope you find the strength to heal from this as soon and as well as it is possible for you. My thoughts are with you. Take care. Peace,
I'm very proud of you Lee for putting your health and safety first. This has to be, without a doubt, a difficult and likely agonizing decision to make. Life is never clear cut or black and white. This is a job you've loved at a school you treasured. All of that changed the day you were given bad news and accused of a crime you never committed. It's been revealed what the administration values - and it's not the health, reputation, or value of the teachers. This is such a travesty. The teachers are the ones who make or break the school. They are the ones who care most about the students. They are the ones who do the work, act selflessly, and commit themselves to the mission of the school, and yet they are the ones who are thrown under the bus when the administration messes up.
What is tragic is that the bond of trust between you and the other teachers and the administration is irreconcilably broken. No longer will it be the teachers and administration working together for the benefit of the students. The teachers will always feel uneasy, wondering if that day will be the day they too will be crushed by a few inept individuals in charge of the school.
Unfortunately, innocent students will be hurt. No longer will they have the opportunity to be taught by the excellent, passionate teacher that you are Lee. They will be witnesses to a great man being brought to his knees by those abusing their power. They are being taught to be cynical, disrespectful and distrustful.
I wish you all the best Lee in your future endeavors. I hope you'll be able to find a job you love as much as this, but more importantly, I hope you'll be able to heal and become whole again. You are a wonderful man, so helpful and wise. Please don't let your light be dimmed.
You deserved better. You and your wife made a real difference to a lot of people who needed you. So many good people end up getting whispered and screwed out of good jobs and it's never fair. In this circumstance, where you were really backstabbed and slandered and the whole environment poisoned..... you have my deepest sympathies. I so, so wish things had turned out differently.
You'll always have the good memories of all you achieved, the people you helped there. And years from now, you'll know it was actually for the best to leave behind a poisonous and abusive work environment.
But your sense of loss is undeniable, and you frankly ought to allow yourself to feel that way and feel it as much as you need.
I'm sorry, my friend. More people should have spoken up for you. But the truth is still on your side.
Lee, I am so sorry this happened to you and your wife. It is so wrong. Your students are so fortunate to have had you as their teacher. I have followed your story and I am really sad for what you lost and for what the students at your school will lose with you leaving. Having raised two kids, I know the impact a great teacher can have. Your kind and caring words to me in my first week here at MS were so soothing and validating to me, an anonymous and confused guy trying to figure out and make peace with his past. It is not hard for me to imagine the compassion, generosity and wisdom you have passed on to the lucky kids who were in your classes and productions. I know they will miss you. Whatever you do next, even if it is continuing to teach, you will touch others. Thank you. Wish you peace.
You have survived so much, you will survive this also. Just take it easy with yourself, deal with it all one day at a time, and remember that through it all you stood with integrity and honor. Thats more valuable than any job.
Seems I've got to have a change of scene Every night I have the strangest dreams Imprisoned by the way it could have been Left here on my own or so it seems I've got to leave before I start to scream Joe Cocker
Loc: South-East Europe
(((Lee))), be proud on your accomplishments.Kids in that school would always remember you. I'm more than sure you expanded their views and changed their worlds! I know that is very difficult for you but take what is offered and enjoy with kids trough those shows as mush as you can.
Loc: durham, north england
@lee, I've followed your struggles with this unfair decision and I'm really sorry that your having to give up a job which has brought so much both to others and to yourself, those kids were lucky to have you as a teacher, and the administration are frankly idiots for not recognizing as much.
however what everyone else says is true, there are doubtless kids who've been through your class who will remember it for the rest of their lives.
Heck, you know about my own school experiences, yet when I saw my music teacher again recently (who is my singing teachers' husband), it was amazing to meet him again since in that pit of hell he was one teacher who actually did! care about what happened, indeed he was kicked out of the school at the same year I left and has apparently had his own scars.
He's a man I still admire now, and indeed what he has taught me are things I remember, ---- indeed when i took my recent grade 8 voice exam, I was remembering the musical theory from his lessons, which I've since never forgot.
So teachers do! make a difference, as you have.
I hope not only that you can enjoy your productions, but also that you'll remember to take care of yourself, particularly in the next few weeks.
Loc: Bouvet Island
Lee, I hope this turn out of responses somewhat lifts your spirits and reminds you how many admirers and friends you have out here, who may not know you face to face, but we all know what a tremendously awesome, kind, warm, generous, resilient man of integrity we all know you to be. I hope you can find work again soon. Maybe this will give some of us a chance to meet you in person back in the states at a Weekend of Recovery, or some such thing? Though your heart is low, I hope your head is high. You've never strayed from your integrity and deserve to leave with it held high. And I guarantee you will be missed. Not by the imbeciles who have wrongly mistreated you. But there will be many kids and others over there who will miss you. I just know it.
agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and
chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole
discretion of MaleSurvivor. I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor
resources are AT-WILL,
and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for
any reason by MaleSurvivor.