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#434167 - 05/09/13 07:33 PM Taking risks
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1437
Loc: California
Hi brothers,

I have a question. Where does the ability to take risks come in recovery?

I'm asking because I have an opportunity to apply for a university position in Los Angeles. I currently workin a university in Northern California. I support education in filmmaking by providing tech support and instruction.

I've been doing this 15 years in the Bay Area. I've fancied myself living in LA, but knew I didn't have the chops to make it in the cut throat competitive film industry. So I've been making due following this career track.

So I find myself shaking in my boots. Scared. should I apply? What if I'm not ready to move? I've lived in San Francisco for 20 years (moved here for college, never left).

What should I do? Ack.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#434179 - 05/09/13 10:11 PM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
great opportunity. you could always decline if offered?

i'd say the ability to take risks comes day one... the day you picked up the phone to schedule a T appointment.

it's one thing to know how you stand against your peers, it's another thing entirely to be confident in who you are. i sense confidence in you.

good luck and let me know what you decide smile
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#434181 - 05/09/13 10:30 PM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Hi Magellan,

There's a saying in AA: "Geographic cures don't work, where ever you go you take yourself along" I suggest you carefully examine if and how this move would change your life. Be brutally honest with yourself about your motives, and expectations.

That being said, there's no risk to you in applying, finding out more about the job and University, and figuring that into your decision, should you receive an offer.

The risks (or challenges) come in being judged by the search committee, starting a new job, dealing with new people and personalities, and seeking to make new friends. I contemplated a move to another state earlier this year. I've been in the same town for 20 years myself. Most of my children are grown and moved away. Many of my friends have moved away to take different jobs in other states. But I finally decided that the physical burden of the move, finding a new place to live, new doctors, dentists, insurance company,ect., plus finding a new job, was more than I wanted to handle. I decided that the risk of failing in one or more of those things was too great. But that was by my own calculation, not because of fear.

There's another saying from AA: FEAR: Face Everything And Recover!

Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#434186 - 05/09/13 11:18 PM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1046
There's no harm in applying. The decision to move only occurs when/if your application moves forward.

Don't short-circuit your opportunity by worrying about maybes.

Apply first, worry later.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#434198 - 05/10/13 01:47 AM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
Metolius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/12
Posts: 41
Loc: Oregon
I say ditto to everyone else who says it never hurts to apply. Test out what's possible for you career-wise. Once you've applied, then get busy figuring out what you need from your job, under what conditions you would be willing to relocate, whether you're willing to rebuild your support networks in a new location. Should you get interviewed or a job offer, you'd be in a good position to ask for what you need from them.

I relate to the dilemma; sometimes my sense of obligation in a situation gets overplayed, such as if I got a job offer, I'd have to take it. Or as I'm testing out dating possibilities, there's a lurking fear of getting entangled in a relationship where I feel trapped. I think all of this comes out of the abuse experience -- being forced to do things I didn't want to do, feeling like my only choice was to be compliant. It's a defense mechanism that worked for me then, but I do have to remind myself that I always have choices each step along the way.

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#434679 - 05/14/13 06:21 PM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1437
Loc: California
Thanks for your feedback, guys.

I sent in the application this morning.

I feel a lot of fear and excitement. Fear of being offered a position, and fear of moving to LA, and fear of failing and losing the job and finding myself without any sort of support.

The job is at a private university, no unions. I have a rock solid and secure union job now. I could stay here the rest of my life if I wanted, but that depresses me to think about. There's no room to grow, and its a dead end job. I get depressed thinking of myself still being here 20 years from now when I approach retirement age.

So I applied and will see what will happen. I am pretty sure I'll get a call for an interview; my qualifications are an exact match for what they're looking for.

I wish I knew how to listen to my heart about the complex feelings it is showing me. I need to grow, and expand and be challenged, and I need to love what I do and be engaged. This job in LA could provide that. But I also need to feel safe and supported, and having a rock solid job has been the ONLY source of that in my life (no real close friends, no family, and no significant other). I'm alone in this world, and I fear going out after it and falling down and having no one around to pick me up.

So very afraid.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#434749 - 05/15/13 12:49 PM Re: Taking risks [Re: Magellan]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 03:18 PM)

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