Hey, mind if a (mostly) straight guy weighs in?
Given your family's history of perpatrating all kinds of abuse on you and/or being complicit in others abusing you, and their homophobia, you are losing nothing by having them out of your life. They don't deserve you, and you don't deserve any more of their crap.
I wish I could apologize for the way the "straight world" has treated gay men, but I can only make my own apology for things I've said and done in the past that disrespected gay men. In an odd way, boyhood CSA has brought us together in ways that may never have happened otherwise, and I'm glad to have you (gay) guys in my life.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memoriesSarah McLachlan