Hey, mind if a (mostly) straight guy weighs in?
Given your family's history of perpatrating all kinds of abuse on you and/or being complicit in others abusing you, and their homophobia, you are losing nothing by having them out of your life. They don't deserve you, and you don't deserve any more of their crap.
I wish I could apologize for the way the "straight world" has treated gay men, but I can only make my own apology for things I've said and done in the past that disrespected gay men. In an odd way, boyhood CSA has brought us together in ways that may never have happened otherwise, and I'm glad to have you (gay) guys in my life.
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'Rare Earth