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#433893 - 05/07/13 01:44 PM the end of this rope is getting badly frayed......
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Lord help me - but I hate my life. Actually, I hate me - but I suppose it would then follow that I hate my life as well as it prolongs the existence of what I detest.
Myself.
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#433898 - 05/07/13 02:59 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1369
Loc: New England
Hey MarkK,

Get it all out here, thats what we're here for, to support each other when we hit bottom.

Hang in there. We're with you.

Jude
_________________________
"When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone
And I have become comfortably numb."
Pink Floyd

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#433901 - 05/07/13 03:51 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3566
Loc: South-East Europe
Hang on MarkK, what is happening?
Be aware that you are not alone, we are here for you!

((((MarkK)))
_________________________
My story

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#433903 - 05/07/13 04:08 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 02:59 PM)

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#433905 - 05/07/13 04:11 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 185
Loc: Western Europe
Hold on Markk!

As Jude said, speak out.. let us know!

(((MarkK)))

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#433958 - 05/07/13 10:43 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
csasurvivor1992 Offline


Registered: 03/25/13
Posts: 132
Loc: Texas
love you Markk... you are worth love and respect.

screw the asshole who caused you to doubt yourself and feel this way. I hope he rots in hell.

You my friend deserve love and respect. I'm new here and haven't given one of these yet.... but here goes!

(((((Markk)))))

You certainly don't deserve a life of self-loathing. You are awesome and courageous for even sharing this deep thought!
_________________________
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on. ~Fun.

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#433976 - 05/07/13 11:41 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1046
Loc: The ATL

Hi Mark. I don't believe we've spoken yet. I'm sorry you're feeling this way but believe me, I understand. Your words sound like they could have come out of my own mouth. I hope you decide to share more on why you're feeling this way at the moment so I have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#433983 - 05/08/13 12:47 AM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 262
Loc: MO
Hi MarkK

I don't think we have met. I was filled with self loathing for 50 years. Recently I have come to believe I am not a monster. I now know I do not have to protect the world from me.

I tried suicide the first time when I was 7 and my last suicidal thoughts were about 3 months ago. I am 64. I suffer from major depression and Diagnosis of extreme stress not otherwise specified. When they don't prevent me from living my life, I have come to accept it is alright.

Don't misunderstand 8 months ago my daughter remembered and shared with me that my father had molested her 25 or 28 years ago. I freaked and it has taken a while to get back to O K. So when things get worse I at least don't want to avoid waking in the morning.

I am sorry you have some of the experiences I had. I think they suck, but they will pass and we will be here to support you.

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#434127 - 05/09/13 10:53 AM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Thanx to everyone who responded. Things are better ... still not great - not even "good" (whatever good is) ... but they are better.
I truly appreciate all the inputs!
M
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#434177 - 05/09/13 09:39 PM Re: the end of this rope is getting badly frayed...... [Re: MarkK]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1046
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: MarkK
Thanx to everyone who responded. Things are better ... still not great - not even "good" (whatever good is) ... but they are better.
I truly appreciate all the inputs!
M


Hi Mark. I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better.

Yeah, this is what I call "relative happiness". For me, although I am rarely what you could legitimately call "happy", I have spent so much of my life in a suicidal abyss that when I am not to the point of literally wanting to kill myself, I tell people I'm "kinda happy" or that I'm "doing ok", even if it's not 100% true, only true by my standards. So, you definitely aren't alone in feeling this way. Hope things continue to improve for you. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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