Sometimes I think life gives you a set a circumstances in which despite the nagging horrors your past, you always have to be the strong one, to not show weakness, to always have the positive face on, etc. I think there's nothing wrong with letting your guard down and admitting that you're tired of it all. It is an exhausting process.
The ratio of good to bad people in this world will always be tipped in favor of the latter. Always. But that ratio in your own social circle, you can control. And there, and only there, can the balance be favorably tipped, so that those who love you far outnumber those who don't.