Newest Members
Mike Boyd, Serenity40, markm, hans32, SilentNoLonger
12133 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
bluestar7 (45), ferdie1949 (65), jonathan (57), LovingFriend (27), tjp42588 (26)
Who's Online
4 registered (truestory, 3 invisible), 58 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12133 Members
73 Forums
62567 Topics
438394 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#433816 - 05/06/13 08:07 PM Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 548
Ever feel crappy...for feeling crappy...because you know a lot of guys have had it so much worse off than you do/did?
_________________________
Husky

Top
#433849 - 05/07/13 02:11 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Yep
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

Top
#433880 - 05/07/13 11:44 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 631
Loc: Southeast USA
Yes.

Someone--I forget who---assured me that there is no comparison of who "got it" worst. If it happened to you once or a thousand times---it is still awful---no matter what "it" was/is.

Will
_________________________
You take a walk and you try to understand
Nothing can hurt you
Unless you want it to... R.E.M./Pylon "Crazy"


My Story: Cruel Summer

Top
#433949 - 05/07/13 10:07 PM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1049
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: concerned_husky
Ever feel crappy...for feeling crappy...because you know a lot of guys have had it so much worse off than you do/did?


Hello Husky! Let me say that I did feel this way at first but I am learning not to with the help of MS. Even when I started posting here a couple of months ago I felt like I might not belong and was afraid other posters here would not want me around because the things that happened to me "weren't that bad." It has been kind of hard at times not to feel that way when people in my own life, my own friends and family members, have told me that very thing. "What happened to you wasn't that bad." It's difficult not to internalize those voices. One of the main ways MS has helped me in the last couple of months is that my participation here has helped me to shed and ignore those internalized voices and understand that my pain and the damage done to me was real and valid and that I have every right to call myself a survivor. So do you, my friend. Do not listen to those voices. The fact that you are here means that you need to be here and your participation is valued. I know I value it. Peace,

Ken

Top
#433954 - 05/07/13 10:19 PM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Yeppers Falcon. Unlike many of the guys, I had a wonderful adopted dad (who I call Dad, because he was unmistakably one). I was separated from him most of my childhood because the abusive Mommybitch had custody out of state. But my brief times with him and his second wife were normal, secure and supportive.

It's hard not to compare my story to others. The feeling's often there - unavoidable I suppose - but, much the same as I'd like to tell a few drivers on the road, it's not a contest.

Top
#433989 - 05/08/13 03:10 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
traveler Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3214
Loc: back in the USA
you can bleed to death as surely from a one-inch incision as from a ten-inch gash, without intervention. it just takes longer. YES - you have the right to feel crappy! you didn't deserve to be wounded at all. and don't feel bad about not having had it as bad as someone else - that's another form of "survivor's guilt" - be thankful. i bet most of them are GLAD you didn't equal or surpass their level of trauma!

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#434006 - 05/08/13 08:12 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 548
Thanks so much guys. This one's been a particularly hard obstacle to get over, but I'm beginning to feel better...I think now that there are just so many variables and complications to each and everyone's story that to compare and get depressed over it is actually pretty ridiculous. The pain is definitely real, and that is all that matters, really.
_________________________
Husky

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.