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#433816 - 05/06/13 08:07 PM Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 693
Ever feel crappy...for feeling crappy...because you know a lot of guys have had it so much worse off than you do/did?

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#433849 - 05/07/13 02:11 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Yep
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#433880 - 05/07/13 11:44 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Suwanee Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 968
Loc: Southeast USA
Yes.

Someone--I forget who---assured me that there is no comparison of who "got it" worst. If it happened to you once or a thousand times---it is still awful---no matter what "it" was/is.

Will
_________________________
I ask you to judge me by the enemies I have made. ---FDR

I AM

Cruel Summer
My Journal

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#433949 - 05/07/13 10:07 PM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1219
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: concerned_husky
Ever feel crappy...for feeling crappy...because you know a lot of guys have had it so much worse off than you do/did?


Hello Husky! Let me say that I did feel this way at first but I am learning not to with the help of MS. Even when I started posting here a couple of months ago I felt like I might not belong and was afraid other posters here would not want me around because the things that happened to me "weren't that bad." It has been kind of hard at times not to feel that way when people in my own life, my own friends and family members, have told me that very thing. "What happened to you wasn't that bad." It's difficult not to internalize those voices. One of the main ways MS has helped me in the last couple of months is that my participation here has helped me to shed and ignore those internalized voices and understand that my pain and the damage done to me was real and valid and that I have every right to call myself a survivor. So do you, my friend. Do not listen to those voices. The fact that you are here means that you need to be here and your participation is valued. I know I value it. Peace,

Ken

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#433954 - 05/07/13 10:19 PM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Yeppers Falcon. Unlike many of the guys, I had a wonderful adopted dad (who I call Dad, because he was unmistakably one). I was separated from him most of my childhood because the abusive Mommybitch had custody out of state. But my brief times with him and his second wife were normal, secure and supportive.

It's hard not to compare my story to others. The feeling's often there - unavoidable I suppose - but, much the same as I'd like to tell a few drivers on the road, it's not a contest.

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#433989 - 05/08/13 03:10 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3746
Loc: somewhere in Africa
you can bleed to death as surely from a one-inch incision as from a ten-inch gash, without intervention. it just takes longer. YES - you have the right to feel crappy! you didn't deserve to be wounded at all. and don't feel bad about not having had it as bad as someone else - that's another form of "survivor's guilt" - be thankful. i bet most of them are GLAD you didn't equal or surpass their level of trauma!

lee
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"


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#434006 - 05/08/13 08:12 AM Re: Feeling Crappy for Feeling Crappy [Re: concerned_husky]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 693
Thanks so much guys. This one's been a particularly hard obstacle to get over, but I'm beginning to feel better...I think now that there are just so many variables and complications to each and everyone's story that to compare and get depressed over it is actually pretty ridiculous. The pain is definitely real, and that is all that matters, really.

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