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#433662 - 05/05/13 10:39 PM how
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
it is impossible to fathom
beyond comprehension
to be ignored
dropped
ridiculed
by those who are supposed to be
guardians
administrators
moderators

of all places
this was the last one
i ever expected the knife
so firmly placed
between my shoulder blades

do not ask why i weep
for there are no more tears
with the ultimate betrayal
comes the ultimate truth
life will never be
worth living
if you still believe
in friends
or others
who "care"

to survive
you must first
release the idea
that anything will ever
be better
worthwhile
or that honesty still exists


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#433665 - 05/05/13 10:52 PM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
Mosiak Offline


Registered: 12/09/12
Posts: 8
Loc: 6408′N 2156′W
This might be the most dramatic poem I have ever read

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#433678 - 05/06/13 01:24 AM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3327
Loc: O Kanada
impressions...

1st reading: bitterness and betrayal.

2nd reading: powerful and painful.

3rd reading: hardcore hatred.

4th reading: i can feel the blade between my shoulder blades.
it hurts.

5th reading: so much anger went into this poem,
i wonder if you have any left after writing this.



_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#433731 - 05/06/13 09:43 AM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
after last night, yeah- i have all the anger anyone should ever carry and then some.

but FIVE readings? i thought i was much clearer than that
_________________________
the story
https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#433824 - 05/06/13 09:10 PM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
MarkK,
I haven't ventured into the "Poetry" area very often but today I thought I'd try something new. I'm supposed to be journaling my feelings as an exercise. I wish I could vent and purge in words the way you can.

I can write till the cows come home for film and TV but when it comes to expressing my real inner feelings on paper the best I can do is jab incoherent scribbles and rip holes in the page.

The frustration and pain you express is raw and open. It describes how I've felt at times when I was triggered by a disruption or an unexpected turn of events.

I'm really sorry you're in such pain. On another note, you demonstrated how to go about it when a man's soul is hurt and bleeding out. Putting pen to paper is one of the most powerful tools we have. Thanks for posting.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#433837 - 05/06/13 10:47 PM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Keith,

You have no idea how much I would give for one day of being able to "write till the cows come home for film and TV" ... or just write something that said something different than "I can't take the pain - I'm already dying inside ... how much more would it be for my outsides to match.

I thank you for your kind words. Maybe that's why I can write - to tell the pain for those who can't. Like an empath, channeling it all thru my hands to the page.

Thank you also for seeing the truth - for seeing my soul "hurt and bleeding out". I've never felt so "seen". Thank you.
_________________________
the story
https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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#433877 - 05/07/13 11:12 AM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3327
Loc: O Kanada
Originally Posted By: MarkK
after last night, yeah- i have all the anger anyone should ever carry and then some.

but FIVE readings? i thought i was much clearer than that


oh, you were very clear the first time.
i just chose to read it more than once.
each taste has a different flavour.

please keep writing and posting.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#434059 - 05/08/13 06:08 PM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
Hi MarKK ...

I wish I could express the feelings I have ...
like you just did.

I have them too ...
squashed and stomped down
under my soul.

My heart isn't strong enough
to dig them out and set them free.

My brain is smart enough
not to let me try.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#434061 - 05/08/13 06:14 PM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 412
Loc: Canada
... and as victor-victim said ...

please keep writing and posting.

I really suck at it ...

so I admire your courage

and your ability.
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#434638 - 05/14/13 10:12 AM Re: how [Re: MarkK]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
"ability".
that's one of those words I have such a hard time accepting - that I have any kind of 'ability'.

Thanks for reminding me that everything I see about myself may not be completely accurate all the time.
_________________________
the story
https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

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