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#433469 - 05/04/13 05:49 AM try to work out
bass drummer Offline

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
I have been talking to my exs from before i started working on my csa and i have been doing it with them to.

When i am in bed with a gf or when my dog sleeps on the bed i have noticed that when i fall asleep i have to have my back facing her or the dog.

Is that something that other people have noticed they do or is it just me???? please help its doing my head in and it makes me feel bad when i am in bed with someone.

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

#433471 - 05/04/13 06:47 AM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
Whilst there maybe something there, you have to consider that it may not be related to sinister parts of your own experiences. Some people are more comfortable laying on one side than an other.

Laying on one side facing away, could be the subject to 'facing away' from the problems you encountered when you were younger, maybe you were told to lay a certain way. Maybe it's something that was just incoperated from something completely unrelated.

As for myself Bass Drummer, I haven't got much experience to relate too in adult life. As for my own sleeping habbits, I go through the same routine nightly, I switch positions constantly, till I find the ideal one. When I was at the height of my OCD, I used to go through a horroficly tedious routine of strange rituals, which could take up to 20 minutes to complete before I could even allow myself to fall asleep. Thankfully, that's mostly gone, but some after shock like effects remain.

I think it might be worth asking yourself what applies in adult life now and what can you control. Do you want to be comfortable facing your partner? Have they ever raised it as a problem? If its an issue thats plaguing you, only you can do something about it.

#433481 - 05/04/13 07:52 AM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
I've done the same thing. I saw it as wanting to retreat and be as alone with and to myself as possible, after being so open and exposed with the person I just had sex with. I especially wanted to hide my face from them- as if I was hiding my thoughts from them.

When I'm sleeping alone it's kind of the opposite. For one, I can't fall asleep with anyone watching me, but for two, I have to have my back to the wall so I know no one can sneak up from behind me. And even then, LOTS of pillows and blankets to bury myself under like a protective shield. Pretty silly for a 29 year old to still be doing that, but I can't fall asleep any other way.

P.S. Probably totally unrelated but I have never been able to fall asleep on my back.

#433491 - 05/04/13 09:26 AM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
Poorsoft Offline

Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
RE your P.S - I'm the same. Weird huh?

Thinking about it, what you're saying is pretty much what I do, I used to cover my self with the covers completely only revealing a small gap where I could view the other end of the room.


I remember when I was younger, I used to have a lot of cuddly boy toys, if that makes sense. I used to make a little wall around my bed with them.

#433492 - 05/04/13 09:28 AM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
BraveFalcon Online   content

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1147
Loc: The ATL

This used to drive the one and only girlfriend I've ever had fucking CRAZY. I always wanted to sleep on my side, facing away from her. For me, it just felt more comfortable that way because it was easier for me to pretend that I was alone and that there was not someone else sleeping next to me. The intimacy of sleeping facing her made me to uncomfortable to go to sleep. I don't really have anything else to add or any suggestions or solutions for you, but I definitely understand, big time. Peace,


#433509 - 05/04/13 11:49 AM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3513
Loc: somewhere in Africa
i used to not be able to sleep in any position except on my stomach. then i somehow started sleeping on my side in an almost fetal position. as i get older - or maybe as i get more relaxed or trusting or get "better"(?) i find i can sleep in almost any position - as long as i am at home or in a place where i feel comfortable and safe. i do not sleep well, if at all, in public places - like on a plane or train or airport waiting room or at a group camping situation or a large dormitory with lots of people in the same room. even hotel rooms - the 1st night i do not sleep well. but the 2nd and succeeding one are ok.

As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago

#433617 - 05/05/13 02:51 PM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
bass drummer Offline

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 27
Loc: new zealand
It dosnt matter what side of the bed the dog is sleeping on i still sleep facing the other way.

Even when i was sleeping alone i would have to have my bed up agenst the wall and my back would b facing the wall it made me feel safe so nobody could get behind me when i was sleeping and i think that is still the same reason if i trust the girl im in bed with not sure

Just give me a reason
Just a little bit's enough
Just a second we're not broken just bent
And we can learn to live again

#433620 - 05/05/13 03:07 PM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 624
Loc: VA
For years after my flashbacks started, I couldn't lie on my right side--that's the direction HE flipped me over. Now I can, though I don't stay that way. Of course, my wife is on the left, so it's more sociable to face toward her. ;^}


#433621 - 05/05/13 03:13 PM Re: try to work out [Re: bass drummer]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3556
Loc: O Kanada
i never noticed it until you brought it up here.

yes, i do the same thing.

i also prefer it when the other person sleeps facing away from me.

i sometimes sleep face down with my face buried in the pillow, or propped between two pillows, sort of smothered and semi-suffocating. it makes me feel ... comfortable(?). i also like the way it forces me to breathe sloooooow and deeeeeeep. like sucking air through a straw underwater. if you don't control your lungs, you will panic.
this has a calming influence on me.

by focussing on my oxygen intake, i am able to take my mind off the millions of thoughts swarming my brain like insects around a night light.
those thoughts can keep me awake for hours if i am not careful.

never can i sleep on my back, unless i am passing out from exhaustion or other influences

i think there is something to what you are saying.



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