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#432579 - 04/26/13 08:50 PM movies: TRIGGER WARNING
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3044
Loc: O Kanada
These three movies created a very intense, unpleasant and deep reaction in me.
The titles and descriptions do not give you any warning as to the content.

Can't say if it was good for me or not, but it was very uncomfortable, so...
I strongly advise sensitive SA Survivors to avoid these films if you are NOT secure in your recovery.
---------------------------
The Gift(2000)
Director: Sam Raimi
Writers: Billy Bob Thornton, Tom Epperson
Stars: Cate Blanchett, Giovanni Ribisi, Keanu Reeves
---------------------------
Mysterious Skin(2004)
Director: Gregg Araki
Writers: Gregg Araki, Scott Heim
Stars: Chase Ellison, Elisabeth Shue, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
----------------------------
Blue Velvet(1986)
Director: David Lynch
Writer: David Lynch
Stars: Isabella Rossellini, Kyle MacLachlan, Dennis Hopper
----------------------------
all excellent films, BUT the explicit realistic depictions of SA are so well acted and portrayed, i was negatively impacted to the point of emotional pain and physical reactions.
it felt like shock and took some time to recover.
maybe it was just me, but I feel the need to inform others.
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#432584 - 04/26/13 09:04 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1092
Loc: The ATL

Never seen "The Gift". "Mysterious Skin" is very good but sad and hard to watch for anyone who has been affected by CSA. "Blue Velvet" is amazing. David Lynch is my favorite movie writer/director of all time. He is a genius! Also, "Blue Velvet" is not the only film of his that deals with the issue of SA. "Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me" does as well. Some think "Mulholland Drive" does also, but that's only a theory. "Mulholland Drive" is possibly my favorite movie of all time. Peace,

Ken

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#432603 - 04/27/13 01:05 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: BraveFalcon]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
I have watched a bunch of movies which I think are therapeutic for depersonalization disorder.

The therapy comes from actually projecting yourself into the picture. Then it gives you new boundaries and a release of emotions.

Stand By Me: I become Gordi. It gives me a role for what I missed.

Movies on kidnap (some Italian):

Ransom, with Mel Gibson and Brawley Nolte

Flight of the Innocent

I'm Not Scared

A movie about being a teen who can't talk:

Trapped in Silence

Movie about being physically abused by one's father

El Bola.

Puffer

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#432607 - 04/27/13 02:11 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3044
Loc: O Kanada
thanks for the insight.
not familiar with the term "depersonalization disorder".
it is new to me, so I am curious.

while I research (google) the phrase, perhaps you could explain what it means to you.

before I became unavoidably conscious of my own SA problems, I was thrilled by the powerful emotions these very same scenes would produce in me. the sicker the better. I craved such intensity.

I was addicted to adrenaline, chaos, sex, violence, death.
now I can't even look at it.

When I see graphic fictional portrayals of grinning sadists achieving pleasure through torture... unnecessary cruelty or suffering of innocent victims at the hands of human predators without empathy or mercy... glamourized charismatic hollywood evil... it really disturbs me... I have to turn it off or look away.

because I work in the movie industry, I am painfully aware of all the time, money, resources, planning and preparation that go into producing just one scene... let alone an entire full length feature film.

I no longer think it is healthy or wise to go to all that effort to create something so ugly, nor do I feel good about watching such emotionally exploitive material.

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Victor|Victim

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#432616 - 04/27/13 05:14 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 592
The lead singer of Counting Crows has depersonalization Disorder. He came out and talked about a few years ago. Helps explain a lot of his songs, and probably why I've always connected with them.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

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#432619 - 04/27/13 06:36 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3044
Loc: O Kanada
but what does it mean? "Depersonalization Disorder"
anyone have a good link to a reliable factual explanation?
i have never heard of it.
something i have not been diagnosed with yet smile
not that i need another label.
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Victor|Victim

War
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Poetry

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#432631 - 04/27/13 12:00 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
txb Offline


Registered: 02/03/13
Posts: 184
I was told I had depersonalisation disorder last June - I think. I went in expecting to be diagnosed with something else. Can't remember what now, but came out with that instead. Diagnosis doesn't really make any difference to anything. It's not something there is a magic cure for.

I guess wikipedia is as good as source as any for reading up about it. I haven't really found a lot of information about it online or else where.

I can describe a bit about what it's like - for me. Can't speak for everyone. If you've ever had a time where you've been really really tired, like you haven't slept for two days straight or something, where things start to feel kind of unreal, or you are so tired you feel dead, that's kind of how it feels. Like you could be walking through a crowded place with people bumping into you, but you don't feel anything when they do. You can hear your footsteps on the ground but you can't really feel yourself walking. People look really unreal, like if you put your hand out it would go right through them. It's just like you're not really there. Or your brain is there, but it's just not connected up with your body. If you looked at your arm, you'd know it was your own arm, that it was part of you and that you could move it any way you wanted. If you pinched your arm it would hurt. If I looked at my arm, it would just look like a thing, like maybe a fake arm, not something that belonged to me. If I pinched it I'd feel nothing. If I hacked it up with a razor blade I wouldn't feel it either. It would be like I was just standing outside myself watching it happen. The whole thing, the way it makes you feel is really pretty scary.

I'm not like that all the time. There seems to be certain triggers for it (but sometimes not). Like feeling stressed, too much going on in my head, or being really tired. Which is always, because I can never sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Sometimes it lasts maybe 20 minutes, other times it can last 2 weeks. I believe it's something I learned to do when I was being abused - to completely pretend I wasn't there, and for some reason it still happens, even though there isn't any need.

(Thanks Jacob S for the recommendation of Counting Crows. I never really listened to them much before, I know the Mr Jones song they have, but I'll check out the rest of their stuff.)

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#433443 - 05/03/13 10:45 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: txb]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6815
Loc: USA
A crude way of describing depersonalization disorder:

They fuc-ed the h--l out of him until he didn't know who he was anymore.

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#433448 - 05/03/13 11:42 PM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
I watched "Mysterious Skin" a few months ago. frown

This is my story (almost).

It is a VERY powerful movie and does an excellent job of portraying CSA when a young boy is groomed into it. The boy (Neil) in the movie is 8 (I was 3-8). It does not show any graphic abuse but I am sure we all have enough memories of our own to fill in the gaps. It does give an insight into the mind of the coach (the pedophile). It also shows the 'cruising scene' when Neil is 15 and older in a realistic way. In fact it was too realistic. It was like a flashback the whole time. It was seriously like watching myself on the screen. Neil - the lead character was so much like me ... the abuse was so much like mine .... the way it affected me as a teenager was the same. It was set around the time stuff happened to me so everything was familiar - the music, the cars, the clothes.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is simply amazing in this role and totally steals the show.

I wanted to make everyone I know watch it and say look - that is what happened to me - that is why I am F#cked up!!! If they did watch it I don't think they could look me in the eye.


Watching this movie was so painful I vowed never to mention it on the main boards in case someone else was tempted to watch it.

It threw me into a pit of self hate that lasted weeks. Disassociation etc. I was damaged goods. I felt like after what happened to me what hope was there for me to have a 'normal' life.

Here is a old thread about the movie... http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=360448&page=1

So you have been warned - watch at your own risk.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#433459 - 05/04/13 12:59 AM Re: movies: TRIGGER WARNING [Re: victor-victim]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3319
Loc: back in the USA
yup - "Mysterious Skin" also triggered me seriously.

but i was like Brian - the other main character - dysfunctional family - demanding, emotionally distant father figure, emotionally dependent mom. Brian was a high achiever in school who was a "good boy" and never acted out - but denied and repressed all memories into dissociative amnesia. weird thing was that like him i also had a fascination with space aliens and UFOs although i didn't use it as a cover story for my CSA.

it is a powerful film. i first read the book - then saw the movie - found them both very disturbing - hard to say which was a worse trigger. i still haven't fully processed it all.

i add my caution - be VERY CAREFUL if you think this story might trigger you. it probly will be much worse than you imagine.

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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