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#434182 - 05/09/13 10:33 PM Re: Gay Rage [Re: WriterKeith]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
@Writer Keith

What an incredibly moving story!

I thank you for the courage to take a stand and walk away from a Pharisaical assembly.

I thank you for doing a penance assisting others who represented the ones your church emotionally neglected - even though you had no responsibility to do so, it tells me you are indeed your brother's keeper.

I thank you for saying you are "so sorry the world has not evolved," because while you are not at fault, it tells me you are shouldering responsibility for being part of the greater world around you.

I am Jewish (you'd never guess by my name). My partner is a Protestant Christian. We are not religious, nor do we go to services other than weddings and funerals. But he does read passages from the bible every once in a while, and knows it quite well. A while back, he suggested I read the Gospels, and I was surprised to discover how simple and pure a man Jesus was. As a Jew, I do not accept him as my savior. But as a person, he is deep inside - my guiding light - my litmus test of right and wrong - my conscience. It sounds like you know Him, too.
_________________________



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#434284 - 05/10/13 05:14 PM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
David Mac Offline


Registered: 04/30/13
Posts: 57
Loc: Pacific North West
You know, there was a time in my life whenever I mentioned homosexuality which is mine, I was always "comming out." Now thanks to my recovery program, it's just talking. It feels good to be "one of the boys" again.

I still live in a world of macho s-head homobigots, phobes and ignoramuses. What ya gonna do?

But now to be honest, I think that gays can treat each other pretty badly too. I don't think I need to come up with any examples. Anybody in the so-called gay community can attest to that.

How are we as a minority going to earn the respect of our straight peers when we lack self respect and respect towards others in our community?

Mac

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#434477 - 05/12/13 11:05 AM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 02:54 PM)

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#434487 - 05/12/13 12:01 PM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1305
Quote:
Anger is poison.

Geoff, I think you said it all right there. I am reminded of this wise advice: There are those out there who will hate you. But they don't win until you hate them back - and in so doing, you destroy yourself.

Quote:
Anger is poison.

Indeed. Can you think of anything truly worthwhile in this world that anger has produced?

Why let those filled with hate drag you down into their cesspool of bitter intolerance? That is their playing field. You don't have to go there. And if you do - trust me - you'll never win.
_________________________



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#434510 - 05/12/13 04:52 PM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Mixed bag for me Geoff. I don't have the answer for the rage...except glass bottles thrown at brick walls in vacant parking lots. Yeppers, it worked.

Gay teen suicides, such as Tyler Clementi, or cases like Matthew Shepard's murder make me furious because some of the circumstances are similar to my growing years. And, even years later, I've just done what I've had to do to get myself clear of it, usually by communication cut-offs, emotional or geographic distance.

I feel fiercely protective of kids like that. Except IRL I'm not as physically imposing a figure as you...all I have is my acting ability in any situation. However, I'd gladly absorb an assault if it means a kid is protected. As a mature adult, unlike a kid, I DO have the life experience and resources to deal with that.

Concerned Husky started another thread today on face-to-face responses to bullies, etc. I've found standing my ground with a firm, angry-sounding voice works, except my response is measured. Often in single words such as "no" or "stop". Internally I'm calm (mostly) and fully cognizant of what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. Emotions in the heat of the moment are controlled (yeah, much like Spock). Advantage Lancer.

(fwiw, being a walking petri dish has helped, too. If anyone is gonna take a swing at me, I'm obligated to tell 'em I have HIV and drawing blood could be bad for THEIR health). wink

For me, it's been a matter of channeling my anger. I rarely participate in protests, although there was a particularly nasty megachurch near here and I participated in that protest.

Neither is my forte organizing political actions, committees, etc. Having had several years in D.C., I recognize immediately when the participants are more interested in their own press to advance a career than the issue at hand.

My strength is one-on-one. At first it didn't seem like much. But, as life itself has so often reminded me, I cannot possibly foresee the outcome of my actions...and I may never know either. I guess it goes for 12-step meetings and MS, too. I never know when a word or phrase may click with someone and make a difference. Takes the pressure off any sense I might have of being someone's "savior". lol...as YOU know, dear brother, I just say what's on my mind.

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#434540 - 05/13/13 01:49 AM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
Thanks, Eric,

The bottom line is, I carry tremendous sadness and guilt over the event. It's a long story, but I didn't speak out enough against what they were doing to tear families apart. I didn't know about the depth of their cruelty until I had left.

There is no excuse to justify separating any dying person from the loved one she or he requests to be with through the last days of life.

When I think of it I am haunted by the thoughts. The church folks thought they were doing the right thing for these two guys' souls, but in reality they were perpetrating the most heinous and cruel act possible. I don't believe Jesus himself would have condoned or participated in such hateful and mean behavior toward two dying men. I wish I would have known and I wish I could have done something.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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#434589 - 05/13/13 08:19 PM Re: Gay Rage [Re: WriterKeith]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/27/14 02:55 PM)

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#434620 - 05/14/13 02:46 AM Re: Gay Rage [Re: bodyguard8367]
WriterKeith Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 945
Loc: southern California
Thanks, Geoff,
I appreciate the encouragement. I don't feel anywhere near having done the right thing. I was bashful then. Now I would halt the church service or the funeral and set things straight.

I was bullied...terribly...through middle school and high school. I can't stand by and allow it when I see adults doing it to someone....anyone, regardless of their reasons.

One week in the late 1980s at a church staff meeting I brought up the matter of the pastor's anti-gay/AIDS tirade in his last Sunday sermon. After the staff meeting dismissed, the associate pastor came to my office and warned me that I could become suspect if I continued to be sympathetic to those dying from AIDS complications. (WTF?!?!)

When I eventually resigned, instead of being a gentleman I wish I would have boldly addressed the hypocrisy before the congregation on a Sunday morning.

I haven't been posting much for some time and I seldom peruse all of the forums. Your thread title "Gay Rage" caught my eye because of the the heated and ignorant arguments in the recent news. It's reminded of that young man's funeral and the situation around it. It used to infuriate me but now it makes me tremendously regretful and sorrowful. I wish I would have stopped the funeral and seated his friend up front.

Maybe "a little child shall lead them" means humankind should learn from children and all should treat each other as potential new friends instead of threats. Instead children are taught how to hate, whom to hate, and to what degree. Still I have hope.
_________________________
"A burned bridge can be a gift; it prevents us from returning to a place we should have never been."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JfvAPZGjds

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