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#430940 - 04/11/13 09:00 PM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: Jude]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1137
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: Publius
I have to admit even in my own mind when I think about perps I rarely think about them being female.


Yeah, neither do I even, and my abusers were mostly female!!!! How fucked is that?

Originally Posted By: Jude
Note the reader's poll showing that 49% of respondants disagree that female teachers should be punished as harshly as male teachers who have sex with students.


Why am I not surprised by that? I'll bet if you ask a lot of those same people how they feel about male sex offenders in the exact same set of circumstances, they'll tell you that no death would be slow and painful enough to be adequate punishment for him. When it's a chick, "Aww shucks! She sound's kinda cool!"

Originally Posted By: Jude
While only ten percent of those teachers were women, female teachers who have slept with (note the use of "slept with" instead of "molested") their students receive the lion's share of media attention.


Yeah, because female on male sex abuse news stories are "sexy." The media loves a "sexy" news story, don't they? Ugh! mad

I'm off this topic for now. This is making me want to go burn something to the ground. mad Peace,

Ken

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#433046 - 04/30/13 01:44 PM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: BraveFalcon]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 916
Loc: New York
Last night's episode of "Glee" handled this exact topic so poorly I almost threw shit at the tv. They cut a PSA at the end for RAINN, but if the point of the episode is that you're just being an ungrateful baby if you don't like being jumped in the shower by your babysitter when you are 11, why would anyone watching come to the conclusion that their abuse was valid and needed help?

Seriously, the kid's TEACHER was right there during all the shaming and LUCKY DOG braying and didn't do shit to help him. But later on, a girl talks about being raped and then at last it becomes a Very Special Episode.

What's the phrase... ah yes... SHUT UP AND SING!
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#433094 - 04/30/13 09:28 PM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: SoccerStar]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1137
Loc: The ATL

Hi Matt. My brother's ex-boyfriend was telling me about this episode of Glee just last night. (Kind of ex-boyfriend. They're still kind of together but... it complicated.) Needless to say, the more he told me about it, the closer it brought my blood to a rolling boil. How could the writers of this show be so fucking ignorant and insensitive? Or, perhaps I should say, selectively sensitive.

The funny thing about this is, my brother's ex doesn't even know I'm a survivor. That is, unless my brother has told him, but I don't think he has. His telling me about this was more or less a coincidence and even he said he thought it was "fucked up".

I've never seen an episode of Glee and I'm glad I didn't see this one. If I had, I'm pretty sure I would have smashed something. I rather like my TV, and I paid a lot of money for it. I would have regretted sending something smashing through it's screen. Not to mention the fact that if I had actually been subject to that scene, I probably would have been to angry and upset to have even gone to sleep last night. Hearing about it alone has my head all f'ed up.

You know, if the student in the scene had been a girl who said a teenage male babysitter assaulted her in the shower when she was 11, maybe they could have done a fun little song and dance about breaking out the pitchforks and torches, tying up a noose , and marching over to the guy's house to string his ass up good! It was a teenage girl and an 11 year old boy though, so it can be all fun and funny and cute. Weeeeeeeee! Ignorance and double standards make Americans happy! BARF!

Ken

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#433096 - 04/30/13 09:41 PM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: SoccerStar]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1137
Loc: The ATL

OH AND ONE MORE GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING THING........ can you fucking imagine what fan reaction and public outrage would be like if a female character on Glee had said she was molested by a teenage male babysitter when she was 11 and her class mates had reacted the way they did to that male character? "You got lucky! What are you complaining about?" Etc? Not that it would ever happen but just hypothetically, imagine it did and it was aired....... IT WOULD BE ALL OVER THE FUCKING NEWS THE NEXT DAY!!!! POLITICAL TALK SHOW HOSTS, BOTH LIBERAL AND CONSERVATIVE, WOULD BE RANTING ABOUT IT ON THE RADIO!!! WOMEN'S RIGHTS ORGANIZATIONS WOULD BE MARCHING AND PROTESTING AND CARRYING SIGNS OUTSIDE OF THE FOX STUDIOS, DEMANDING GLEE BE FUCKING CANCELED!!!!! YOU AND I AND EVERYONE ELSE KNOW IT'S FUCKING TRUE!!!!!

But, they minimize and trivialize female on male abuse.... barley a peep out of any fucking body. Sickening.

Ken

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#433113 - 05/01/13 12:24 AM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: BraveFalcon]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3421
Loc: O Kanada
BF

thank you for sharing your feelings.
it has been extremely helpful to me.

i am experiencing one hell of a breakthrough after reading your story.
i totally relate to your raw honesty.
something about the vulgar language has resonated within me.

i have been hiding my true feelings without being aware of them.
when examined in clear daylight, they are very similar to yours.
i have been hiding behind a convenient society double standard to avoid facing what i really felt underneath the ignorant macho posturing.

when i recall honestly how i felt back when my friend's mother seduced me as a teen...
i was totally high and stoned on the pills she gave me the first time.
i did not want to do it, but i did not want to let her down, or hurt her feelings by rejecting her groping and grabbing,
even if i had not been impaired, i don't think i had the assertiveness to say no to a woman who had been so "nice" and "friendly" and "flattering".

every time it happened after that, i was sober and straight, but i was sort of baffled as to how to end it now that it had already happened.
she was very aggressive.

i was also curious about sex with females, she offered to teach me how to "make love" so that i would be able to "please a woman", and i just couldn't see what was wrong with it, other than the fact that i was completely unattracted to her, she was over twice my age, and the mother of my friend.

this unattraction became horror and disgust every time i got the summons to her bed.
i dreaded her calls.
i started to feel like a toy or a pet.
she was in control, and i simply complied to her instructions.
i was simply functioning.
i most certainly was detached and objectified.

i did feel "special" for the first few times, because she told me how "special" i was,
and how girls my age were too stupid to see what a "man" i was.
this feeling faded fairly quickly, as did the conversations.
there was no intimacy whatsoever, and very little exchange.
i was merely "following orders" by the time it ended.

i hated the hiding and secrecy.
i was very afraid of discovery.
i was extremely relieved when it ended.

none of the above sounds very "lucky" to me.

i must have forgotten all those emotions.
my repression has been very impressive.
but it is peeling away layer by layer.

this is necessary.

thank you again for sharing.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#435744 - 05/25/13 09:36 AM Re: You Lucky Dog You! [Re: victor-victim]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1137
Loc: The ATL

I was rereading this today I can't believe I haven't responded to it yet. I meant to respond to it when you posted it a few weeks ago but I guess I got bogged down responding to other stuff and forgot. Sorry.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim

i did not want to do it, but i did not want to let her down, or hurt her feelings by rejecting her groping and grabbing,
even if i had not been impaired, i don't think i had the assertiveness to say no to a woman who had been so "nice" and "friendly" and "flattering".

every time it happened after that, i was sober and straight, but i was sort of baffled as to how to end it now that it had already happened.
she was very aggressive.

i was also curious about sex with females, she offered to teach me how to "make love" so that i would be able to "please a woman", and i just couldn't see what was wrong with it, other than the fact that i was completely unattracted to her, she was over twice my age, and the mother of my friend.

this unattraction became horror and disgust every time i got the summons to her bed.
i dreaded her calls.
i started to feel like a toy or a pet.
she was in control, and i simply complied to her instructions.
i was simply functioning.
i most certainly was detached and objectified.

i did feel "special" for the first few times, because she told me how "special" i was,
and how girls my age were too stupid to see what a "man" i was.
this feeling faded fairly quickly, as did the conversations.
there was no intimacy whatsoever, and very little exchange.
i was merely "following orders" by the time it ended.

i hated the hiding and secrecy.
i was very afraid of discovery.
i was extremely relieved when it ended.

none of the above sounds very "lucky" to me.


No, it sounds like a textbook case of soul-numbing sexual abuse. Do you have any idea how powerful what you just posted here is? I wish more people out there in the general public could read things like this and have their eyes forced open. Everything you posted here is a perfect example of a sexually abusive relationship and of how a sexually abusive relationship works. A PERFECT, textbook example. The abuse was real, the manipulation was real, the power and control was real and the damage done was real. Only difference is, the victim was a teenage boy and the perp was an older woman... (You lucky dog you!) Yeah, right! Ugh... SMH.

Anyway, thanks again for sharing this. Sorry I didn't respond to it until now because it certainly warranted a response. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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