Newest Members
Lumpy, squeekinby, rhyoung, Jefferson22, OxfordArms
12369 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
drivejoepublic (44), eagle299 (43), H18 (21), JJJ (43), mariposaman (63), SevenTwoTwo76 (39), TexAgMan (37), waiter (44), wgwarch (55)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 23 Guests and 8 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12369 Members
74 Forums
63582 Topics
444218 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 12 of 17 < 1 2 ... 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 >
Topic Options
#443968 - 08/10/13 04:44 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: bodyguard8367]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: bodyguard8367
"deleted"
"Redacted"

I don't understand why one perp would be singled out for anonymity in the face of so many who are named.



These are interesting questions to me. I think I will try to contact the book's author. Why do I think his name is given as "deleted"? Because his father is/was super important in the history of U.S. during 20th Century. They have a powerful lot of pride in those things. They would have to re-write some history books.

There are numerous names developed in the book. Joseph Mengele, who performed experiments on the author of the book when she was only 4-years-old. He named himself Dr. Black in the United States and when programming children. The author of this book was only one of the children he experimented on. Other stories are presented. Some are very gross.

Dr. Ewen Cameron also performed terrible experiments. Sidney Gottlieb also figured. These men had no regard whatsoever for the children they were working on. They were merely laboratory rats. I was treated similarly.

I was abused under the same type of regimen (pufferfish story part 5). I was not given electro-shock as the camp had minimal electrical supplies. Instead of that my abuser used physical torture, sexual abuse, sexual humiliation, observation of another boy killed (presumably), isolation, sleep deprivation, physical restraint, nudity, starvation and what I believe was LSD. It went on about 12 days after the initial encounters. The abuser was not a "nice" person. The objective of what they were doing was to reduce the subject to a level where their sense of self goes down to almost zero. At that point the subject was susceptible to hypnotic suggestion which would allow them to be programed by hypnosis into certain modes of behavioral modification. I was told (programmed) not to remember what was done. I was also told that if I remembered and talked about it, that I would have to pull the plug on myself. I was also told that if I ever told about it I would be found and killed.

All of this seems to fit fairly well into the pattern of the atrocities this book describes as performed by Dr. Black (Joseph Mengele*) on American children.

Puffer

* Joseph Mengele infamous from Auschwitz, was thought to have escaped to South America after the war. Whereas this was probably true, he spent a lot of time in the U.S. under a cryptic identity. He was involved in sadistic experimentation on children in the U.S. Some of his "efforts" are described in the book under consideration.


Edited by pufferfish (08/10/13 04:47 PM)

Top
#444054 - 08/11/13 08:59 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Finding that book on how children were programmed and used in experiments has given me a range of new ideas on what happened to me.

When I was a new arrival at the Boy Scout camp Roosevelt, all of the boys were required to undress and one-by-one go before the camp doctor, who would stick his finger into the scrotum. Then we were supposed to caugh. This was supposedly a test for a rupture, although we had been given this test by our family doctor before being admitted to the camp.

After I began to be abused I tried to resist by telling the camp doctor, the same one who had given us the rupture exam. So I went to him and told him that the "counselor had made me suck his cock". He asked me: "What camp are you in?" I replied: "Eagle Camp". He said he would attend to it. But the abuse became much, much worse.

Now I think I have found a picture of the camp doctor, or at least of someone who looked a great deal like him.



Who is the one pictured? He is Dr. Mengele, or Dr. Black as he was known in USA. He was Dr. Death at Auschwitz during the war. He would have been 40 years old at the time I saw him.

Now that I know that he was probably present in the US at that time, it seems possible it might have been him. If so, it establishes that my abuser in the camp and Dr. Black were already working together.

Here is a picture of some of his experimental subjects at Auschwitz.


Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (08/11/13 09:54 PM)

Top
#444058 - 08/11/13 09:30 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
puffer,
this is intense recall and revelation.
are these memories just beginning to surface in the last while,
or have they always been there but blurry?
the scale of this boggles the mind.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#444064 - 08/11/13 10:00 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: victor-victim]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Victor-victim

I remembered the abuse at the summercamp in a series of strong chains of memories when I was in my mid-forties (almost 30 years ago).

The memories came forth in dazzling reality, almost like moving photographs or videos with voices and scenes and violent emotions.

Now that I have discovered the book on this subject, I realize that the author, Carol Rutz, had the same kind of explosive return of memories. She even has a name for it: Abreaction. I felt very damaged and raw after remembering the stuff.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (08/11/13 11:20 PM)

Top
#444136 - 08/12/13 08:36 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Why do I care?

Why can't I just forget it?

I was a sweet little boy when that extraordinary abuse began. I still had a lot of innocence. My science teacher wrote in my yearbook: "To the innocent little angel..."

But what had been done to me would gradually work its way to the surface and ruin my life.

How many were subjected to it? I don't know, but I think a lot. Has it stopped? I doubt it. Those who did it were drunk with power and control. They were able to seize an apparent motive of national interest, but in reality it was just the opposite. It was something our nation would have to be ashamed of. Something which they still must answer for.

Josef Mengele tortured and abused hundreds or thousands of children in the most horrible way. He did that to the author of the book I'm currently reading.* She got to know him pretty well as he performed heinous acts upon her. She describes him as one of the most wicked men of the 20th century(including Adolf Hitler). He was able to project an exterior of:

Originally Posted By: New York Times via Wikipedia

A former Auschwitz prisoner doctor has said:

He was capable of being so kind to the children, to have them become fond of him, to bring them sugar, to think of small details in their daily lives, and to do things we would genuinely admire.... And then, next to that,... the crematoria smoke, and these children, tomorrow or in a half-hour, he is going to send them there. Well, that is where the anomaly lay.[23]

The book Children of the Flames, by Lucette Matalon Lagnado and Sheila Cohn Dekel, chronicles Mengele's medical experimental activities on approximately 1,500 pairs of twins who passed through the Auschwitz death camp during World War II until its liberation at the end of the war. By the 1980s only 100 sets of these twins could be located. Many recalled his friendly manner towards them, and his gifts of chocolates. The older ones "recognized his kindness as a deception—yet another of his perverse experiments to test (our) mental endurance."[24] He would also kill them without hesitation, sometimes administering injections to the children or shooting them himself, and would dissect them immediately afterwards. On one evening alone he killed fourteen twins...


We know little of the one who was responsible for abusing me. My story is in: Pufferfish story part 5. (Don't read it unless you're an adult and feeling strong). He was apparently able to somehow keep his name out of history so far, and is known in the book* only as "deleted". It will come out. Was he involved in bringing Josef Mengele to this country where he could propagate his insidious and devilish techniques of programming children? He's dead now, but this is one of the reasons I feel I have to look into this.

What else did he do? How many did he abuse? To what extent did he work with Dr. Mengele in the "programming" of children in the way I was "programmed".

How many bore a life-long pain because of what he did to them?

Puffer

* A Nation Betrayed (The Chilling True Story of Secret Cold War Experiments Performed on Our Children and Other Innocent People), by Carol Rutz



Edited by pufferfish (08/12/13 09:06 PM)

Top
#444160 - 08/13/13 12:25 AM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: pufferfish]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
aside from everything else you said,
which is absolutely mind blowing,
the questions stood out.

Originally Posted By: pufferfish
Why do I care?

Why can't I just forget it?


for me,
why do i care?
i care because the memory is a part of me.

but, i know that what happened,
however horrible,
is only a memory, now.
a thought.
it's already behind me.
it's over.
it can't hurt me.

i can't forget it.
because it has already shaped me.

but, who i am is not only based on those events,
i am also a sum total of all my experiences.

i love who i am.
therefore i embrace my personal history,
including the extreme meganegativity.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
#444164 - 08/13/13 01:02 AM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Puffer,

I'm going to ask a stupid question and one you might have already addressed, but.....

Since you have this man's name, place of employment, year(s) he worked there, and probable place he lived (since he stalked you to your home), can you work with a PI to find out more about him? Track him to other jobs and see if there was a trail of victims? Does that camp or Scouting troupe still exist?

I found the man who assaulted me by calling the school and claiming that in THAT YEAR I was a student who had *victimized HIM* - that I'd lived a life of crime overall and that had included stealing that poor unfortunate innocent man's property and, oh, how guilty I felt now that I was on the recovery plan's numbered step of "apologize to those you've hurt," and could they in any way help me get in touch with him to try to make amends or at least return it to him? A town, an email, a next-of-kin, anything....? Just a full name and a past residence was enough to get me EVERYTHING on him and his immediate family. There are also lots of online genealogy databases (and hobbyist forums devoted to them) that can be useful too.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

Top
#444215 - 08/13/13 02:41 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: SoccerStar]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Those are excellent suggestions.

I'm working on the ID and his timeline. Cant_remember has helped me. One of my problems has been an incredible fear of this individual. I had this terrible fear which didn't begin to diffuse until I saw his obituary. He died in December of 2011.

Consider that he tortured and raped me etc. for about 2 weeks and then programmed me to "never tell". I was told that if I ever remembered and talked about it, I would have to pull the plug on myself and/or he would find me and do it.

I must talk to the author, Carol Rutz, and see what she knows about this. Why did she leave his name as "deleted" in her brilliant book where she otherwise gives the names of just about everybody else who was involved, good and bad. For instance, her book is the best reference I have found on the activities of Josef Mengele after WWII. "Deleted" was probably involved in what became the NSA. Do I trust the NSA? No... For one thing, if "deleted" was who I think he was, then giving his name becomes a high-stakes venture. It has all kinds of consequences if I'm wrong, even though he's dead. I have confided his name to several persons in personal messages. He was not an ordinary person and had enough power to control the use of his name in all kinds of sources. I have not been able to find his name in any documents after about 1950. He would probably have been delighted to hear me say he was powerful. Otherwise I have found a lot of information, for instance, books he helped write about his father. His Amazon Wishlist, etc.

Puffer



Edited by pufferfish (08/13/13 02:50 PM)

Top
#444216 - 08/13/13 03:08 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: cant_remember]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3608
Loc: South-East Europe
Just to add that there could be legal issues why someone is not mentioned with his/her identity in book, article or similar.
But I guess if he/she died than circumstances changed.

I heard for some rings of abusive people that never use real names and even some victims are imprisoned for long time or even parts of such "families" they don't know for many facts if any. Some of them never seen id or some other such document even they went to schools and colleges.

It looks like those monsters have gone trough some military style training when they are capable to control in such systematic way group of people for so long time.

Pero
_________________________
My story

Top
#444250 - 08/13/13 10:02 PM Re: Johnny Gosch doc on MSNBC [Re: peroperic2009]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
Thanks

Yes, it was military.

Puff

Top
Page 12 of 17 < 1 2 ... 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.