Photo of me at age 13
The CIA and MKUltra: I think they wanted to learn how to control people. They wanted to understand the brain and how it worked. They said that they were very afraid of the Soviet Union and this matter of mind control. In fact that's what MKUltra means: Mind Kontrol to the greatest extent. They used prisoners and military personnel but in some cases were able to access American children such as I was.
The head of OSS in CIA was Sidney Gottlieb. He was born with a club foot and he had a stutter. He was probably bullied in school. He hated God and wanted to show that he was more powerful than God. Gottlieb's picture is in this photo below. I believe the same 4 men were involved in working on me. The person unconscious on the table looks a lot like me but I have no definite proof that it was me. I was never told the nature of what was done, either before or after. Of course I never consented to what I didn't know. I had been told I was to have a tonsillectomy. I didn't have any nervous system impediments requiring surgery. I was supposed to take capsules for coagulation for 2 weeks before the surgery. Apparently it's a bloody operation.
The man leaning over the subject was Sidney Gottlieb. He has opened the unconscious guy's (perhaps me) mouth and was looking in it. I think that's because they were planning on using some apparatus which could insert devices through the nasal cavity so that they didn't have to make so many incisions through the skin. There is a picture of this device below. The man with the surgical cap on the left is Jose Delgado. He's the one who, in a well-publicized experiment, put electrodes in the bull's brain and controlled it with a remote control. In the middle and behind was Dr. Wolff. The man on the far right was Dr. Gottlieb's sidekick, Dr. Gittinger. This photo proves that all of these men worked together at the time I was subjected to this procedure.
Dr. Delgado was apparently the one who did most of the work on me, in installing the brain circuitry. He later worked at a major university (Yale). There are several books out either written by him or about him. See these references:http://io9.com/5871598/the-scientist-who-controlled-peoples-minds-with-fm-radio-frequencieshttp://www.amazon.com/Physical-Control-Psychocivilized-Society-Colophon/dp/0060902086/http://www.amazon.com/Physical-Control-Mind-Psychocivilized-Society/dp/0060110163/
Jose Delgado put remote-controlled electrodes in another boy's brain. When he pressed the remote button and asked the boy if he was boy or girl, the boy switched his sexual orientation and thought he was a girl. He said he "loved" the experimenter and wanted to get married to him. I've read this account in several sources, including Delgado's own book. The question for me in this is, did Delgado and or the others "experiment" with my sexuality while I was under their control? I think the answer has to be "yes" because I have some memory of that and it seems to be born out in my behavior subsequent to the operation.
Those scientists were interested in arousing subjects sexually by using the imbedded electrodes. The electrode, or wire, was put on the septal region of the amygdala. I think they must have enjoyed having the control such that when they pressed the remote button the boy had an erection, and/or other sexual functions. I think they were interested in seeing the response of the boy to sexual stimulation as shown by EEG. It says in one book that they did it over and over. They wanted to see if they could make the boy have a erotic climax. They did it repeatedly. These statements can be verified from Delgado's own books and several others.
According to several books, they wanted to do the most incredible and weird stuff possible. Sexual stuff was not outside the parameters of their activity. They wanted to see if they could change the basic nature of a boy's brain and personality. There I was the most innocent boy on earth (not really) and they wanted to make me a pervert.
So this is what I think they did to me.
They put in wiring and electrodes
This consisted of drilling several holes in my skull under anesthetic.
They carefully installed platinum or gold wire, connecting various parts of my brain.
They raped my butt hole repeatedly and probably measured the EEG response
They may have had another boy in a separate room who would do sexual stuff while they read the responses. Then they could press the remote control and make come on to that boy until it became a habit. I think they might have done this.
They used hypnosis and/or drugs to try to make it so that I would forget the surgical aspects what they did. However they wanted the the sexual stimulation to remain part of my personality.
There were some pronounced and long-term effects on me:
After they were through:
- I couldn't talk for 3 or 3 1/2 years.
- I was much more depressed than before.
- I was a social outcast. I was much more withdrawn than before.
- I kept on sexually messing with my young friends.
- I was shunned at school / people saying I was a homo
- I was kicked off the football team in a public sort of way.
- My right eye became very nearsighted. It went from 20/20 to 20/400. I assume that was because some of the apparatus or its installation disturbed the eye tissue. This never recovered.
- I had much more trouble with strabismus. It was much more difficult to use my left and right eyes in a coordinated manner.
- I was given speech therapy and then child psychotherapy in Denver for my problems.
Twenty or so years after this surgery my mother asked about why I was different after that time. I still had not remembered these events and could not give a meaningful reply.
I'm sure that they must have done the same things to other boys not known to me.
I'm sure that this brain implant surgery did not make me more intelligent or proficient at anything. It guaranteed that everything I did thereafter was a challenge. I was much more depressed and less functional.