He said, "You are not depressed. What have you got to be depressed about? There's nothing wrong with you. You've always been a manipulative bastard, even as a kid. I'm so ashamed of you. You have been the reason I don't hang out with my friends, I can't show my face to them. You don't love your parents or your grandparents. I'm 51, I wanted to retire by now. We would have been in California if you had just gotten your head out of your ass."....My dad said I didn't love them. What is love? When you love someone, wouldn't you want to do everything you can to see them happy? (even at the expense of your own happiness)....who I am more angry with, my abuser or you, I'd say it's a tie. He used me for his personal gratification. You tried to use me for your personal vendetta. I am so sorry I'm not grateful (sarcasm)."
TOXIC Father, Not his choice what you do. He thinks you owe him, so sadly, he also thinks his choices of berating you will motivate you. Distance will aid you in the long run.
MY family doesn't admit to incest, horrendous physical abuse, or neglect. They also don't admit to neglect and choosing to shelter not one but two perpetrators of sex against me.
Today I live MY LIFE....if they don't like the choices I make, there is a complaint/suggestion box at the North Pole labeled, "Shit I pay no attention to".