Newest Members
DT, kk90, Austintexan, Cancan, LS
12257 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
ByondClosedDoors (41), Dave1425 (32), DeafDavid (23), LowSky (57)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 54 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12257 Members
73 Forums
63119 Topics
441404 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#432097 - 04/22/13 06:27 PM WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow.
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
..you are beautiful like the rainbow

lots of music and words in here......

..don't be afraid to let them show
..your true colors are beautiful
..like a rainbow

I heard this on my player while I was mowing the lawn this evening. I almost lost my toes, 'cause I teared up. If a neighbor saw me, I would have to tell them it was allergies.

I have been fighting the downslide for like a lot of days now beginning last week. And its really hard to avert that slide and begin to pull up again by yourself. The T said last week I was "depressed". I just looked at her and meant it to be a joke and deadpanned, "you think so?" as if we were talking about whether it would rain or not. Her reaction was to automatically reach over and begin to look for my folder...oh, my God, I have a therapy folder - I guess this means I am in recovery...

Yeah. I am depressed some days. Have been off and on for months now. And after a few of those "some days", I just wanted to remind MYSELF by reminding all of you, that we are beautiful like the rainbow. Not just the "Little Me-s" in us that have dealt with so much pain and rejection and shame, but the "Big Me-s also". WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow.

I knew a beautiful lady who literally cried each time she saw a rainbow and the colors thereof. I once asked her why she cried, and she simply said, "The rainbow's beauty is so simple in its majesty, it is overwhelming. It is one of the things I am going to miss."

Rainbows make me cry these days too. Evidently even songs about rainbows meant for the teenie boppers. ...talk about embarrassment.

I read the postings this weekend of family and love and support. It triggered not in a bad way. I had some good remembrances. Embrace all of it guys. Every last minute. I may no longer have someone to tell me I am beautiful, but I will tell the "Big Me" ..... "Hey, Big Me, you are a beautiful spirit in the world. Let your colors shine!" ... And I am telling each of you who read this, whether you have someone or you are alone... "Hey, YOU are a beautiful spirit in the world. Let your colors shine!"

Now excuse me, if you will. I have to attend to pulling my ass out of this depressively morbid state of being. And I will be successful. Going outside, and going to pretend I see a rainbow. Angels........and tears. I am such a baby this evening..... go find this song somewhere on line and listen to it. I guarantee for a few minutes, you will believe you are beautiful, if you do not already.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



Top
#432101 - 04/22/13 07:54 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3302
Loc: back in the USA
here's another, Bill:

The Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNM6R6QV9vo

it brings tears to my eyes every time. it has such a message of indomitable hope. i used to sing it to my kids when they were little as a lullaby. i could do a pretty mean kermit - and then i didn't have to worrry about the quality of my own feeble singing voice.

Jeff - i hope you are seeing this one, too!

RAINBOWS to all of you!!!
lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#432103 - 04/22/13 08:03 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
dumont Offline


Registered: 03/28/13
Posts: 34
Loc: No where

Top
#432113 - 04/22/13 09:44 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Christina said it/sang it... I am beautiful. No matter what they say or do... I will take the liberties to change the words... no matter what they said or did. And they did a lot.

I am beautiful. Lord, I need to believe that tonight. Its a really hard evening, like I haven't had since back in the winter. Thanks, dumont. I needed that boost. Sort of not feeling so beautiful right now. (you all realize i do refer to the spirit when I speak of beautiful, right? )

And Lee, I can just see you singing to the kids this Kermit song. I wondered as I listened, what the innocence of Kermit would have been like. I really do. I have it together most of the time but I just wonder. And I am gonna ask the taboo question, but why the fuck me, or you, and why the fuck so many times, or even just once for some, but why the fuck as an older man. .......................................................................???????????? And there is no answer. And that just leaves me wounded and empty and pissed off. Oh, did I say used. I'm just hurting tonight, I know it will pass.
................................ lovers and dreamers and ME........................ I want my dreams back.

b.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



Top
#432186 - 04/23/13 04:46 PM " [Re: ThisMan]
lbcali1978 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/12
Posts: 217
"


Edited by lbcali1978 (04/27/13 08:22 PM)
_________________________
They said

Come home

I said

I'm confused and alone

They said

We understand

I found out they don't

I'll walk the path exactly how I've always done it

Alone

Top
#432760 - 04/28/13 04:54 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
I just HAD to bring this up again....Something happened on the weekend that made me think of you guys...

This past weekend I took my 10 year old daughter and 2 of her friends on a 'survival' camping trip ... down by one of our creeks. They had a tent to themselves and my wife and son and I had our own tent not too far away. On the up side I managed to NOT get triggered other than a hint of sadness every now and again. (some of my abuse happened on my only camping trips as a kid). I am trying really had not to let my experiences stop my kids from having a 'normal' childhood. Anyway the point...

I will preface this with the fact that my kids go to a private school with a very strong music program ....and we are a musical family... I know this is going to sound super corny.

So we are sitting around the camp fire taking turns singing songs ... Me being the goof that I am sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' in a series of crazy charcter voices, the Transformers theme song in a phsyco heavy metal voice and 'The Song that Doesn't End' from Lamb Chop's Play-Along.. The girls sing nearly every song from the Sound of Music like angels. Then my daughter starts singing 'The Rainbow Connection' and the other two girls start to harmonize with her. She knows ALL the words! Beautiful!!!

It truly was a beautiful moment. I just had to share it. I couldn't help but think just how beautiful and innocent kids are....how beautiful we all were (before)....... and how beautiful we still are.

Lee

BTW - it was less beautiful after the 4th time. I told them how great it was and they kept singing it all weekend. crazy
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

Top
#432766 - 04/28/13 05:18 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: Farmer Boy]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 685
Loc: Southeast USA
Lee,

I can imagine it now...sounds a really fun-and special time for you all.
Four times? Kids that age still don't realize that sometimes "less is more." Mine certainly don't!


Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

Top
#432772 - 04/28/13 06:22 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
Poorsoft Offline


Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163

Top
#432780 - 04/28/13 07:38 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Poorsoft

YES

'Your true colors......are beautiful, Like a rainbow.'


That is a beautiful song too. It isn't just the words but the way Cyndi Lauper sings it.

I am proud to say it is on my daughters iPod and she sings it all the time too - he parents have given her a well rounded musical education. wink
And it is beautiful when she sings it too.

I have to plug an Aussie that does a beautiful version of this too Kasey Chambers..


Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

Top
#432800 - 04/28/13 11:35 PM Re: WE ARE BEAUTIFUL. Like a rainbow. [Re: ThisMan]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Farmer Lee- what a beautiful story to share. I can only imagine the girls singing that beautiful song. The video you posted wouldn't play on my laptop.

On a probably way too personal note, Guys, it was my spouse who cried every time she saw the rainbows. Even my boys talk of the beauty of the bows. And many years before, on her very first birthday together as a married couple, guess what instrument I gave her..... that's right, a dulcimer, hand made in the Southern Appal Mnts. Thanks for taking the time to post that particular video, Poorsoft. It is indeed triggering good stuff.
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.