I have non24 sleep disorder. Its a disorder where it is impossible for me to keep a normal sleep rhythm. It is usually treated witb light therapy and melatonin. That is often ineffective. It is more than ineffective with me, the melatonin increases my dissociative and amnesiac episodes.
It is something I can never tell anyone, because they always respond with "oh yeah, me too. Take me off an alarm clock and I start drifting!"
That makes me so frustrated. They don't understand. Non24 doesn't mean you like to sleep in. It means that your body clock will not conform. Imagine having to wake up at 6am one day. Then you have to wake up the next day at 5am. next day 4am. next day 3am. next day 2am. 1am. midnight. 11pm. 10 pm. 9pm. By this point you might just stay up all night. But then you have to wake up at 8pm the next night. 7pm. 6pm. All the way through the clock to 8am, 7am, 6am again and then it keeps moving. Your body never has a chance to adjust. You become sleep deprived, constantly exhausted, with all the other physical symptoms that come about from sleep deprivation. That is what it is physically like for me when I have to wake up at the same time every day. It is so maddening because people think I'm just being lazy or finicky. Its not a matter of lack of discipline. Its a real thing and its not the same thing as people who sleep till noon on their day off.
Well, that became a little bit of a rant. Thanks for listening.
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone
just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.