This is a good story. Thank you for sharing. From Good relationship with your abuser??
When I was 11, my brother "showed me" some things like he MB to show me the silly string. He told me to show him myself and did things and told me to do things which I was not comfortable with. Somehow he talked me into it. I had no idea how he knew how to do things or even why someone would want to. I was so naive and he kept talking about our secrets. I never felt like I had a close family and he being 16 I thought he should be the cool older brother I wanted. Then he said we had to keep it from our parents and gave me little gifts to keep it quiet and to let him do more things to me. I didnt undertand this but I was so upset with myself for accepting those little gifts (especially later in life when I looked back - how stupid could I be?). Then showing me and getting me to do things so he wouldnt tell Mom and Dad was getting more frequent. I remember one time him knocking at my door and scratching at the door. I was afraid someone would hear us and in a way I hoped they would. This needed to stop. He was telling me I needed to let him do ____ to me. I felt I could trick him and said I would put it under the door but not come out so I put my finger under the door pretending it was my penis. I just couldn't do it anymore. As bizarre as it was, he seemed to either like that or I fooled him. I never knew.
Apparently my hope that someone would find out and stop it did, as my Mother heard the encounter. My father sat us down and my brother assured him we were experimenting and it would stop and that was the end of it. I was so hurt that my parents didnt understand that he did something sinister to me and didn't help me. My brother tried again even after this and I told him I would tell our parents and he spoke about him blaming me if I did. I was strong (and smart enough to know they wouldnt believe that). In our family you dont talk about things so it was never discussed again until I went to therapy when I was 30 when this all came back to me -- almost like a Lifetime movie because I put it out of my mind.
I spoke to my parents and brother when I was in therapy and had they had denial. They did not "r"emember it that way. My brother said it was mutual and my mother said she didnt know it was that bad (I, sadly, didnt believe her and still feel so hurt that she ignored it: I was 11!!!) My mother feared it would break up the family, my brother was afraid it would affect his marriage and when I told a "best friend" she spoke of how it affected her! No one wanted to help me just like no one did when I was 11 or 12.
I decided to forgive everyone (as much as you can). Getting it out and making sure people knew I knew and saying it was not OK was powerful for me. I was strong and handling it myself got me though. I learned it was important for me to realize in this sense (but not everything) I really only have me! Of course it still bothers me and I dont trust. I have some sexual hang ups because of this but understand how this affected that ... I have information and confinctions and that helps me.
I see my brother regularly and always have at holidays and events. We never speak of it. My parents have both now passed away. am closer to my sister-in-law (his wife) than him and I can see he is in denial about so many things in his life and not just this. I don't really blame him on the one side because it was not intentional but he should be a smart enough guy to have figured out when I confronted him and he worried about himself and never apologized or took ownership that an 11 year old would get messed up by this stuff. I still feel let down by many over this but have very strong faith in me. I prevailed.
In short, you can have a relationship with your brother. Even if it is awkward sometimes, and it will be, family is family I suppose. He wont see it the way you do and I guess that is his mechanism.