I think I get the feelings you mention Jacob, though often in relation to former schoolmates or my contemporaries. Here's what I've sometimes felt: In short, "What the fuck is wrong with ME?" THEY'RE successful. THEY'RE respected. And I'm still struggling with the most basic shit. They're success just seems to come naturally to them and I have to fight - usually fail - just to hang on. WHEN is it gonna be MY turn?"
To expand. Do I have to become an amoral, aggressive, arrogant jackass to be successful LIKE THEM? But that's not ME. I actually have a CONSCIENCE. Perhaps a measure of finding a middle ground: The only time I'll throw someone under the bus is when they deserve it.
fwiw, my take with these types is that they often have skeletons in the closet and/or other secrets. So, whether they show it or not, they're always on guard. Perhaps those skeletons, too, go a long way towards explaining their arrogant behavior...protection. To directly address your issue, comparing your insides to their outsides is apples and oranges. Not a fair comparison, as unavoidable as it might feel.
Look at the famous assholes you know - Mel Gibson, Bernie Madoff, etc. Or some you don't know - my adopted mother (who still thinks she should be famous). Eventually their karma catches up with 'em which also takes the burden of evening up the score off me...I can sit back and enjoy the show. And I've had to somehow keep myself content that, no, I'm not driving a BMW X6 - I want white with the oyster interior, white rims please - but my conscience is clear, my life is my own and I'm not beholden to an image or role defined by others.
Hope this makes at least a little sense.
I'd add, well, now you know about them. I sincerely hope you're able to eventually just file it away. These days I usually can, more often than not. I still struggle sometimes, but I'm not comparing myself to others' appearances as much. I've got a white German car, btw. Not an X6. She's over 13 years old. Lovingly restored. And I think the sweat I've put into her says more about me than a spanking new Beemer could.