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#432617 - 04/27/13 05:37 AM Hi guys
mike54 Offline


Registered: 03/24/13
Posts: 2
Loc: Washington state
First let me say that I am thankful for tools like this sight to help in the healing process. I am in my mid 50's and have been in therapy for about six months now.
My abuse took place in high school where I attended an all boys religious boarding school for four years. It began when I was about 14, and my abuser was an upperclassman and that lasted for about 2 years and after that it continued with some staff members. I graduated in 1976 with a feeling of no self worth. I had a hard time adjusting when I left school. I felt shame and guilt. I went into the army and had a hard time adjusting. I acted out sexually and had a hard time sustaining relationships. I walked out on my wife and my 15 year old son.I have since tried to reach out to him but he won't even talk to me. I have felt that I had this deep dark secret and I was afraid that people would find out and judge me. I met my girlfriend in 2000,and I told her of the abuse that place when I was younger. About seven months ago, I was told by my brother to google one of the names of one of the priests that was on staff at my high school. There was a newspaper story and a picture of him that he was recently arrested for raping a 12year old boy back in the 80's.This new revelation brought some serios anxiety and I have been dealing with PTSD so after all these years I am finally dealing with these issues in therapy. In fact my therapist told me about this sight. It's been a struggle and I suspect it is a long road to recovery but the stories I have read from the forums have helped me with some validation and that I am not alone.

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#432623 - 04/27/13 07:51 AM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Welcome to the site Mike. Glad you found us. You may have already examined a lot of the posts - I'd suggest not too many at one sitting - and found elements of your own experience among them.

fwiw, same age here and also abused about the same age (15-16) by my high school guidance counselor. At that age I had no clue why I just couldn't get it together...and that continued right into adulthood.

In short, a lot of times when you share elements of your story you'll hear a round of responses along of the lines of, "I get it."

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#432655 - 04/27/13 05:49 PM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
mike54 Offline


Registered: 03/24/13
Posts: 2
Loc: Washington state
thanks Lancer

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#432675 - 04/27/13 10:13 PM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1513
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: mike54
...I am finally dealing with these issues in therapy.....It's been a struggle and I suspect it is a long road to recovery but the stories I have read from the forums have helped me with some validation and that I am not alone.

Welcome Mike!

MS has ben a great tool, along with therapy, for my own recovery. Exactly for the validation and sense of not being alone, that you have alrady found here. We are all from different backgrounds, ages, nationalities, religions, and sexual orientations, but we all have in common this one experience of boyhood sexual abuse that deeply affected our lives as men. You can safely share here what happened to you, how its affected you, and the things you still struggle with, without fear of judgement or condemnation. There's not much thats off limits here, so go for it.

When I first arived I was given the following advice which I'll pass on to you: "Abuse happens in secret, but healing happens out loud." The more you talk about it the less power it has over you. Good luck.

Jude
_________________________
I went back to the doctor
To get another shrink.
I sit and tell him about my weekend,
But he never betrays what he thinks.
Can you see the real me, doctor?.
The Who

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#433208 - 05/01/13 09:50 PM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 315
Loc: Ohio
Welcome to MS, mike54

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#434341 - 05/11/13 05:00 AM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
i believe you made a good decision by joining this forum and sharing your story with other survivors.

welcome.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#434355 - 05/11/13 08:45 AM Re: Hi guys [Re: mike54]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
Welcome Mike,

I was 13 to 14 when my most overwhelming perp abused me. It was 50 years ago.
I was basically in denial for 25 years. And tried to minimize the impact after that. Our stories are different but we are all the same.

I hope you will find the safety and support that I have at this site.

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